The Republic of T.

Jim was a frustrated by the conviction I stated in a previous post.

This stance just frustrates me. I would imagine a good reason for not going to church is that you’re a Buddhist, not because you want to nurture your grudge.

Well, I guess it is. Some people have “a charge to keep.” I have a grudge, but I think I’ve come by it honestly. I’ve written before about my issues with religion, but it wasn’t until recently that I was able to be honest with myself about how deep those issues run and how personal they are. It wasn’t until I was sitting in the middle of my father’s funeral that I even thought about the resolve I mentioned above.

It was there that I made the decision to absent myself from anybody’s church henceforth. I’ve even considered putting my own funerary wishes (no funeral/memorial in a church or other religiously dedicated building, no hymns, no biblical readings, no sermons, no mention of “god” or “christ,” etc.), much the same way my father did before he died. It was there that I think I touched a personal bedrock of sorts.

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I’m not sure what to make of this. What do Madonna, Ceilne Dione, Shirley MacLaine and I all have in common? According to this survey, we’re all connected enthusiasts.

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Much to do with the family today: swimming lessons, a trip to the library (near the new house) to get books for Parker, grocery shopping, and unpacking. So here’s the random 10 I didn’t do yesterday. If you want to join in on your own blog or in the comments:

1. Start your MP3 player.
2. Randomize the collection.
3. List the first 10.

Good thing I’ve got this meme, because my CDs aren’t unpacked yet. Here’s what I got.

1. Hare Krishna (Hail Krishna) [King Britt Remix] from the album “Verve Remixed” by Tony Scott
2. You’re Laughing At Me from the album “The Best Of The Song Books: The Ballads” by Ella Fitzgerald
3. Master and Servant - Black and Blue Mix from the album “X1 [Box] Disc 1″ by Depeche Mode
4. Cavalleria Rusticana from the album “Pieces In A Modern Style” by William Orbit
5. Sexy M.F. from the album “The Hits/The B-Sides (Disc 2)” by Prince
6. We’ll Be Together Again from the album “Lena Horne - An Evening With Lena Horne (Live)” by Lena Horne
7. Porcelain from the album “Play” by Moby
8. Jolene from the album “¿” by Dolly Parton
9. Best Of My Love from the album “Boogie Nights” by The Emotions
10. (I Don’t Stand A) Ghost Of A Chance from the album “The Complete Billie Holiday on Verve 1945-1959 (Disc 5)” by Billie Holiday

And yours?

Crossposted from my DailyKos diary.

It’s that time again. You’ll note from the title that I’ve taken a cue from commenters on last week’s diary rescue and have hereby dubbed it “Queerly Kos.” (And, no, that’s nothing to do with the various rumors on the internets.) The week started out in disturbing fashion for me, as I received an email from a friend on Monday informing me that his partner had passed suddenly passed away and giving me the dates for the funeral and internment. That was bad enough, but it got worse when he told me later that after finding out that his husband collapsed at work, he raced to the hospital only to be told upon arriving at the ER that they couldn’t give him any information because he was not “next of kin.”

A day later I read the story of Rob and Jay, a gay couple in Connecticut with 30 years together, and a civil union between them. Long story short, Rob has ALS and when he dies Jay will likely lose their home because they lack the federal marriage benefits — including Social Security and pension inheritance and low-to-no taxes on inherited estates that are considered taxable “gifts” between same-sex partners — that might allow a surviving heterosexual spouse to keep the home. Not what you would call “important shit.” Right? Happens every day, though.

And with that, let’s on to the diaries.

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We’ve all had moments we’d rather not have become public knowledge. We’ve all done things we’d rather our friends and family — let alone the whole world — never know about. And there was a time when — except, say, for celebrities like Britney Spears — most of us never had to worry about the humiliation of our worst moments or embarrassing acts publicized That was, of course, before the web. Maybe it was before the age of the video camera. No, maybe it was before the advent of audio recording. Wait. Make that before the dawn of human speech. Well, maybe even before that.

My point is that public exposure of our human foibles is nothing new, and certainly wasn’t created by the web, but this tale of a lost cellphone is just the latest in a series of stories that illustrate how the web, combined with the popularity of blogging, the ubiquitous nature of videophones, and sites like YouTube., have brought about a rebirth of the pillory or the public stockade.

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Kos? Gay? Well, gee. If I’d known that I’d have come on to him when I had the chance at Yearly Kos, to see if I could get him to come around on the whole gay equality vs. party unity thing.

Montgomery County Executive Doug Duncan’s decision to drop out of the Maryland governor’s race leaves gays in the state with no good choices to support among the remaining candidates. That’s right. I said "no good choices." Let me explain.

I wrote a while back about Democratic front runner Martin O’Malley’s inability to give a straight answer on whether he opposed a state constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage. That effectively made Doug Duncan the only Democrat in the race who was on record as opposing the anti-gay amendment to Maryland’s constitution. The thing is, in a state like Maryland, going on record against an anti-gay marriage amendment (not for same-sex marriage, mind you) isn’t an exceptionally courageous move. That’s why Duncan’s dropping out leaves Maryland gays with no good choices on the ballot.

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It was almost enough to renew my faith in, well, faith. The Episcopal church took a stand for its gay and lesbian members. I used to be one of them, and it was on the tip of my tongue to congratulate the Episcopal church yesterday. Good thing I didn’t. I’d have to bite my tongue today, because they changed their minds and decided to stand down. It just strengthens my resolve never to set foot in a church again, except for weddings and funerals.

If you thought the the story in the previous post was upsetting, even scary, in terms of how vulnerable same-sex couples are in absence of the rights and protections of marriage, this one won’t make you feel much better. I came across this via Bill, and I’d have to say the same thing he said about it.

Having to face something like this is one of my greatest fears. It’s a story that reminds me a lot of Laurel Hester.

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Not only are we not next of kin, but according to the Pentagon we’re also nuts.

Imagine for a moment that you’re at work, sitting at your desk as usual or going about your daily tasks when you get a phone call. It’s the call that just about everyone dreads. On the other end is a frantic voice telling you that something awful has happened. Your spouse, husband or wife, suddenly collapsed on the job and is being rushed to the hospital, unconscious.

Naturally, you drop everything and race out of the office to get to your love one’s side. Maybe you make it in time to accompany him or her in the ambulance. Finally, you get to the hospital and follow the EMTs in to the ER as they push the gurney down the hall. Your spouse is rushed into an examination room and while you wait outside you try get some information about what’s happening.

Then it happens. A member of hospital staff tells you that because you’re not next of kin they can’t give you any information. Why? Because you’re not married.

Well, it happened to friends of ours.

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I’ve blogged before about the phenomenon of kids and online predators, and I’ve had mixed feelings on the subject. I have none, however, about news of a teenager and her mom suing MySpace.com for $30 million because the girl met a predator online who later sexually assaulted her.

A 14-year-old Travis County girl who said she was sexually assaulted by a Buda man she met on MySpace.com sued the popular social networking site Monday for $30 million, claiming that it fails to protect minors from adult sexual predators.

The lawsuit claims that the Web site does not require users to verify their age and calls the security measures aimed at preventing strangers from contacting users younger than 16 “utterly ineffective.”

“MySpace is more concerned about making money than protecting children online,” said Adam Loewy, who is representing the girl and her mother in the lawsuit against MySpace, parent company News Corp. and Pete Solis, the 19-year-old accused of sexually assaulting the girl.

…Solis contacted the girl through her MySpace Web site in April, telling her that he was a high school senior who played on the football team, according to the lawsuit.

In May, after a series of e-mails and phone calls, he picked her up at school, took her out to eat and to a movie, then drove her to an apartment complex parking lot in South Austin, where he sexually assaulted her, police said. He was arrested May 19.

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Apparently, while I was busy moving someone at the Washington Post Express was reading my blog. (Love the headline, BTW!)