The Republic of T.

Black. Gay. Father. Vegetarian. Buddhist. Liberal.

The Baby Wait

I haven’t posted much about it, but since March we’ve been in the process of completing the paperwork for our second adoption. Well, this week we completed our adoption profile and got word from our adoption agency that our profile is officially “in the books.” That means that it’s been added to the binders containing all of the other adoptive family profiles, which birth parents look through to select potential adoptive families from among which they’ll finally choose one.

Essentially, it means we’re on the waiting list to adopt a baby.

We’ve always wanted to adopt second child, in part because we both grew up with siblings and have valued those relationships more as we’ve gotten older. So we wanted that for our children too. We’ve been talking to Parker for a while now about getting a new baby brother or sister, and he’s excited about the idea because he’s seen his friends also get baby brothers and sisters in the past year.

He changes his mind regularly, however, on whether he wants a baby brother or a baby sister. Since our agency doesn’t allow adoptive parents to specify gender, we’ll be as surprised as Parker will be as to whether the new addition to the family is a boy or girl. We’ll be happy with either. We’ve already got all of the “stuff” we need for a boy, as we haven’t thrown out much from Parker’s infancy. And we figure that even if the second child is a girl we can get away with re-using Parker’s old babyidesign clothes and toys for a while anyway. Who knows? Maybe our little girl will like playing with cars and trucks as much as her big brother.

It’s interesting to contemplate the impending arrival of a second child, because it already seems so different from the experience of becoming parents for the first time. With Parker, everything about infancy and infant care was new to us, but this time around we’ll know at least a little bit more about what we’re doing and what to expect. What I find myself wondering about is what the second child’s personality will be like, etc.

Oh, and we have to narrow down the list of potential baby names.

Anyway, the wait begins! With Parker’s adoption, it was just two months between when we completed our profile and when we were chosen. So, it could happen anytime between now and the end of the year….


  1. That’s wonderful, Terrence! I’ll be keeping you and yours in my prayers until the baby arrives. I’m sure whichever gender the baby ends up being, Parker will experience the full range of sibling feelings, from joy to frustration and back again. 😉

  2. Yay! Wishing you guys all the best!

  3. On a sociological note, the gender part is fascinating (and in huge contrast with race). I’m curious how they come to the conclusion of being gender blind and race concious. Fascinating….

    On a personal, note congratulations!! Hopefully, you won’t have to wait long. 2 months is pretty quick.

  4. Actually, my guess is that the agency changed that policy after having a few too many situations where the child wasn’t the gender the adoptive parents wanted or thought they were getting. After all, ultrasounds aren’t always right and you may think the kid is one gender only to find out the opposite when they’re born. So the agency’s new policy appears to be “take what you get” where gender is concerned.

    The program where in, though, is specifically to adopt African American and biracial infants. (Biracial, in this program, is defined as African American and any other ethnicity.)

  5. Wishing you all the happiness! It’s nice to have two! I know how hectic it can get, so, to give you a heads up…if you are needing baby clothes and accessories… is having a 40% off designer baby clothes! Good luck and Best Wishes!