So why isn’t McVeigh included in these ‘Where did we go wrong’ analyses? For some reason, I haven’t seen any self-accusatory hand-wringing accounts of society’s failure regarding McVeigh.

Well, McVeigh wasn’t a school shooter, and that’s the group that I’m talking about here.

But I haven’t read any bios of McVeigh, so I didn’t know that about him. If he was bullied in high school, then I’d say he probably suffered from the same kind of alienation that the young men I wrote about experienced. So, even though he manifested his in a different way, I could see him as part of the same phenomenon as them.

But I’m not sure where this has anything to do with being liberal or conservative. I’m not aware that any of the school shooters were of one political persuasion or another.

So why isn’t McVeigh included in these ‘Where did we go wrong’ analyses? For some reason, I haven’t seen any self-accusatory hand-wringing accounts of society’s failure regarding McVeigh.

Could it be because liberals need to flavor each tragedy in a way that suits their politics?

I was humiliated terribly in grade school, and it was even encouraged by a male teacher who enjoyed getting the whole class to laugh at my expense. I had problems which made me an easy target.

Kids in middle school can be very cruel, and I remember being rated by the boys with zeroes and negative numbers as I walked in the hall. I wasn’t hideously ugly, but no looker either.

Now I see a psychologist. Not once did I ever have any thought of blowing away anyone, not even the cruelest of my classmates. Girls are taught to get depressed. Boys are taught to get even - whether or not their victims were actually their tormentors.

This also helps explain why most of the sexually abused children are female, yet most of the abusers are male. Since “victims grow up to be abusers”, this doesn’t make sense. The male victims grow up to be abusers. The female victims blame themselves and get depressed.

Also, there is the sense of white male entitlement which has been threatened over the years. The WASPs who have always had power see that things are no longer completely biased in their favor as it was in the “good” old days. It may have been especially difficult for Cho, coming from a more sexist culture, to deal with the independent young women at VT.

So it begs the question: how are we raising our boys in particular to not know how to deal with anger and emotions, to act out violently against others, especially women? To be very controlling? Why is the perpetrator’s almost always being male taken for granted?

Followed by:

Good point. I heard two psychiatrists on NPR’s “Science Friday” talking about the Virginia Tech shooting. Both were experts in studying mass murderers. One of them pointed out the two common features in almost all mass murderers, and I was shocked that being male was not one of them. It’s taken for granted that mass murderers will be male, but it seems to me that the question of why that is deserves study.

Funny that. I’m just in the middle of a post that addresses those very questions. Hope to finish and publish it soon, if life & work allow.

Good point. I heard two psychiatrists on NPR’s “Science Friday” talking about the Virginia Tech shooting. Both were experts in studying mass murderers. One of them pointed out the two common features in almost all mass murderers, and I was shocked that being male was not one of them. It’s taken for granted that mass murderers will be male, but it seems to me that the question of why that is deserves study.

As to the point about the culture of humiliation, this was forcefully brought home to me about a year ago. I turned on the TV - something I almost never do — and apparently “Fear Factor” was on. To win a prize - I think it was $10,000 - a mother and father had to drink a blenderful of milk, ice cream, and maggots. In front of their three kids. The two oldest, I guess around 6 and 9 years old, were “socialized” enough into the culture to cheer on their parents’ humiliation as they repeatedly gagged on the drink. The youngest, probably around 3, didn’t understand how society worked yet, and was horrified and concerned for her parents. It was heartbreaking. Ritual humiliation, children cheering on their parents’ degradation, a child forced to watch her parents gag for a pittance - enjoyed as entertainment on mainstream television.

It doesnt take much to strike up a conversation to someone you dont already acknowledge. I say hello to people all the time that I come across in the streets or store. A simple hello followed with a statement relating to the current situation, be it what theyre looking at or possibly an overheard conversation you or they are having with someone.
Seriously it only takes a breath.