- Poisonous Parenting for July
- More Poisonous Parenting
- Even More Poisonous Parenting
- Further Adventures in Poisonous Parenting
- Poisonous Parenting: The “Oh Father” Edition
- Poisonous Parenting: The “Intact Family” Edition
- Britney: Bad Diva. Bad Parent?
- Poisonous Parenting: Pedophile Puts Kids to Work
- Poisonous Parenting and the Procreative Imperative
- Poisonous Parenting on Parade
- Poisonous Parents: Prisoners & Plaintiffs
- Poisonous Parenting: McClurkin’s “Hurting Our Children” Mix
- Posionous Parenting: What Makes a Family
- Poisonous Parenting for the Holidays
- Poisonous Parenting vs. “Real” Parenting
- Piecemealing Marriage in Maryland
- Poisonous Parenting In the New Year
- Poisonous Parenting Explained, Again
- Poisonous Parenting: Mississippi, Goddam.
- Poisonous Parenting: Confused, Pt 1.
- Poisonous Parenting: Confused, Pt. 2
- Poisonous Parenting: First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then…
- Poisonous Parenting: On Natural Families
- Poisonous Parenting: Getting the Job Done Right
- Poisonous Parenting: Best Protected
- Poisonous Parenting: The Santorum Edition
When I wrote the previous post, I hadn’t thought about the possibility of it becoming a series. But since posting it, I’ve received a few stories via email and come across more in the news that I thought worth highlighting. Why? Because, there’s still some life — and legislative consequences — left in the assumption that heterosexuals are better candidates for parenthood than LGBT people, simply by virtue of being heterosexual. Case in point, Dana pointed out that Oklahoma’s anti-gay adoption bill — which I’ve blogged about before, here and here— is still churning through the courts.
The 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that a state law preventing gay couples from getting birth certificates for children adopted in other states is unconstitutional.
The appeals court upheld a previous ruling by U.S. District Judge Robin Cauthorn.
”We hold that final adoption orders by a state court of competent jurisdiction are judgments that must be given full faith and credit under the Constitution by every other state in the nation,” the court says in its Friday ruling.
I’ll leave it lawyers and other legal minds to figure out the implications re: the Full Faith and Credit clause. The defeat of anti-gay adoption bills in several states, and the passage of the Colorado bill are encouraging. But as long as some people with media bullhorns call gay parenting abusive and selfish, it’s worth seeing how we measure up against some inherently better candidates — because they’re heterosexual — for parenthood .
Parents like Angela Vasquez.
A woman hospitalized with self-inflicted stab wounds was charged Wednesday with killing her two children, who were found dead in her apartment.
Angela Vasquez, 31, allegedly killed Yasmine Burgos, 13, and Dennis Burgos Jr., 10, then stabbed herself.
Vasquez was arrested at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, where she was taken Sunday night after police found her and her children’s bodies in their Roslindale apartment.
The causes of death have not been released, but police previously said the children were stabbed.
… Friends and neighbors have said Vasquez had threatened suicide over the weekend and was distraught after recently leaving her job as an executive assistant at Children’s Hospital.
In 1998, the Department of Social Services investigated Vasquez for child neglect, but considered the problems resolved when the case was closed in 2000.
Or parents like Judith Leekin, who also left an indelible impression on her children. With handcuffs.
Investigators believe Leekin adopted 11 children from four separate New York City agencies using various aliases from 1993 to 1996.
Port St. Lucie police say she held the children like prisoners in her home, often handcuffing them together and not allowing them to use a bathroom. The children, who now range in age from 15 to 27, told police they were never allowed to attend school, see a doctor or a dentist and were barely fed.
All the victims had scars on their wrists from being handcuffed, police said.
Wow. Bet nobody hassled her about adopting across state lines.
Then there’ s Nancy Ortiz, who left babies all over town.
Sheriff’s deputies said Tuesday they believe Ortiz had three babies, the same children whose abandonment and origins captivated this small farming community about 60 miles southeast of Fresno.
The last abandoned child — a newborn girl — died in the bed of a pickup truck in December, and police believe the 22-year-old Ortiz left the baby there. The baby’s two older siblings survived their abandonment.
… The first newborn was discovered February 10, 2005, a barely breathing boy swaddled in a blanket on a bench a block from Ortiz’s home, the umbilical cord still hanging from his tiny body. On January 8, 2006, a resident discovered a full-term baby girl inside a pickup two blocks away, clothed in an undershirt and pants. Those babies became wards of the state.
Then a neighbor in Ortiz’s subdivision found the baby girl, enveloped in a sweat shirt and deserted in the back of a truck on December 3. A coroner determined she was alive for less than a day and had died of exposure to the cold.
… Then last week, two anonymous tips led authorities to Ortiz. After getting reports that her 3-year-old daughter was wandering naked and alone on the street, a detective brought Ortiz in for questioning and determined that she was a suspect in the homicide.
In my neck of the woods, there’s the teenager who left he baby in the toilet. Literally. In the toilet.
She hid her pregnancy under baggy clothing, and when the eight-pound baby boy arrived in December 2005, the 17-year-old Arnold girl delivered the baby herself, then left him in the toilet for five to 10 minutes. Finally, she placed the infant in a plastic bag and put him in a trash can outside.
… At a hearing July 18, she pleaded not guilty to the charges but agreed to the facts of the case, including the delivery in her mother’s home and the decision to put the baby, whom she decided was dead, into the trash.
The child was found the next day after the teenager’s mother confronted her. A medical examiner determined that the baby died of asphyxia, either from drowning or from being left in the bag, and said exposure to the cold weather might have contributed to his death.
The California Supreme Court has agreed to hear a case in which two doctors refused a woman IVF treatment because she’s a lesbian. Which means that they felt that Guadalupe Benitez and her partner (whom Elizabeth Weil wrote about for Mother Jones last year) did not have the right to the life they hold so dear.
The case, which began in 2001 with Benitez claiming that the doctors violated California’s anti-discrimination laws, is seen as one of the most controversial the Court has heard in years. The doctors were not refusing a service—they routinely performed IVF on other patients—but instead cited religious beliefs in this specific instance. The court could find that doctors will have to take an “all-or-nothing” approach, which would mean loss of lucrative IVF business if such doctors stick to their religious standards.
The doctors’ defense all along has been that they didn’t perform the procedure because Benitez is unmarried. (Benitez has said, under oath, that the doctors told her it was because of her sexual orientation.) Okay, so let’s give them their defense for a sec. Do they then support gay marriage so that newborn life can be cherished? And how come they have religious objection to IVF for unmarried women, but are fine with assisting in the production of up to a dozen excess embryos per woman they treat? These embryos now number half a million nationwide; they’re sitting frozen in storage and are most likely destined to be destroyed.
The previous two mom’s may have missed out on some lucrative business themselves. They could have made a buck or two selling soft-porn pictures of their kids on the internet.
A Woodsboro mother pleaded guilty Wednesday to secretly sending photos of her partially-clothed teenage daughter to another juvenile.
State prosecutors said Donna Compton, 46, admitted sending pictures of her 14-year-old daughter in various stages of undress without her daughter’s knowledge. Prosecutors said she sent the photos to a juvenile acquaintance.
And if they got tired of being parents, they could always shoot their kids later.
Montgomery County police have charged a man with killing his two sons Monday morning in Silver Spring.
Two people were found dead inside a townhouse at about 9 a.m. in the 14900 block of Dinsdale Drive after a call about a domestic dispute, according to a police spokeswoman. News4’s Megan McGrath reported that the victims appeared to have been shot to death. The exact cause of death will not be determined until after the medical examiner completes an autopsy.
Police said Thurman Herring surrendered to police in Rockville after making the domestic dispute call. He was charged with two counts of first-degree murder and two counts of using a handgun during a felony in the deaths of his sons Justin Demetrius Herring, 20, and Jeremy Herring, 18.
On top of all that, there’s yet another story of kids left in the car.
Sametta Heyward was in a bind. The single mother was scheduled to start a double shift at 3 p.m., and her baby sitter had just canceled.
“She was either told to come to work or be fired, or she was afraid to call in sick — one of those things,” said police Lt. Michael Fowler.
She made it to her job at a county-run group home July 29, a typically warm summer day. After eight hours, she called a supervisor and said she had to leave because of child-care issues.
According to her employer, she didn’t tell the supervisor or a co-worker that for all that time, she had left her 1-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son in her Chevy Cavalier hatchback, parked on a residential street.
She had left Triniti and Shawn with battery-powered fans, food and drinks, but it was not nearly enough to combat the sweltering conditions inside. She later told relatives that when she got to the car at 11:30 p.m., the children were unconscious and had weak pulses.
A day later, police found her at her apartment wailing, “Oh, my babies!”
Officers said in a police report that she tried to kick and bite them and asked them to kill her. The bodies of the children, bathed and dressed, were found wrapped in trash bags and stuffed under the sink.
Now, I know that with that story, as with many of the others above, there are a whole set of issues at play that need to be addressed: everything from race to mental health to child care and living wages. But those are all issues that affect LGBT families too. The difference is that while people may shake their head over the stories above, and in some cases criticize the parents, to a lot of people they are still better parents than me or any number of LGBT parents who never done any of the above; because to too many people heterosexuality makes you a better candidate for parenthood than an LGBT person.
Because being a heterosexual doesn’t automatically make you a good parent. But being gay or lesbian automatically makes you a bad parent, which puts you in the same basic category as the parents above; who, by the way, at least have a shot at being good parents if they clean up their acts. After all, they’re still heterosexual.