The Republic of T.

Black. Gay. Father. Vegetarian. Buddhist. Liberal.

Another Alibi for Senator Craig

I really shouldn’t pick on Sen. Larry Craig. But there’s so much to address in this case, especially in the light of the recent news of another Republican — in this case, Florida state Representative Bob Allen — getting busted for soliciting sex in a public bathroom.

To be frank, these guys did pretty lousy at coming up with explanations or alibis for the actions leading to their arrests. I mean, Craig blames his arrest on his problems with haveing a “wide stance” when going to the bathroom. Now, I don’t know whether Craig is just a tall guy who requires more legroom than most bathroom stalls allow, but you’d have have ’em spread pretty damn wide if your foot is brushing up against the foot of the guy in the next stall, while your sitting on the potty. And I won’t even begin to analyze Allen’s excuse that he was intimidated by a black police officer or scared of lightening.

There’s another reason why upstanding conservative guys like these two might be spending time in public bathrooms. I call it “Saving Souls at Glory Holes.”

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The Tea Room Trade – Witnessing for the Lord in Public Toilets

Public restrooms have always been a necessary evil, a haven for sexual predators and other deviants. Now, as if parents didn’t have enough to worry about, Christians are commandeering public toilets for their own specious uses.

This SHOCKING and TRUE report comes straight from THEIR literature, a book titled, “Witnessing Made Easy” by C.S. Lovett. These excerpts are taken from the chapter, “The Bottom Rung” which begins on page 64.

The steps are pretty easy, and even illustrated with pictures.

1. Stop at a gas station (or restaurant) which has a public restroom offering LOCKED PRIVACY. It must have a door that locks from the inside. If it doesn’t, you won’t have the privacy you need for this exercise. Enter the room. “Click,” lock the door behind you. Now you’re all alone. No one can get in unless you unlock the door. See how safe you are? There’s no way for people to come bursting into the room and discover you in the act of leaving a tract.

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2. Now draw out a tract from your pocket. Hold it out to your side at arm’s length. (See photo). It quivers, doesn’t it? That quivering is your fear translated into something you can see. The shaking of your fingers corresponds to the trembling of your heart. The fluttering of that tract is YOUR FEAR out there where you can look at it. The more shy you are the more that tract will shake. The more bold and aggressive you are, the less it will shake. But there will be some feelings for you to deal with.

3. With your arm still extended, bow your head. You are going to speak directly to the Holy Spirit. If you have never done this before, determine to do so now. After all, He is GOD. Ignoring Him is perhaps the greatest sin in the church today, and the real reason behind the decline in the various denominations. So, with your hand still tremblin, speak to Him… aloud…

4. Now swing your arm so that you can place the tract on a towel box or shelf. It really doesn’t matter where, so long as it is in plain view of anyone who might enter the room after you. As the tract leaves your fingers, say aloud…

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!

That’s for your benefit. I told you this was the beginning point. For some this will be the first time they have ever declared Jesus’ name in a public place. Here in this private moment you can taste the thrill of it. Be bold as you say it. No one can get in. Try and sense the delight that goes with having that precious name on your lips. You’re sure to like it. It will prepare you to utter His name a bit more publicly later on.

I suggest that any other conservative Repblicans who frequent public bathrooms get themselves a copy of Witnessing Made Easy and a hand full of Chick Tracts for their next forays into the men’s room.

If nothing else, it can’t be any more lame than their actual explanations.

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