The Republic of T.

No, I don’t mean gay dads. (More about us later.) I mean dads with gay son, who are proud of their gay sons.

I posted about the Details article on heterosexual dads who are worried their sons might be gay. (But, hey, they’re not homophobes. Some of their best friends are gay. So they can’t be homophobic, right?) Well, PFLAG is responding to the article with a weeklong series of posts by dads about why they’re proud of their sons.

OK, I’ll admit up front that PFLAG has a special place in my heart, for many reasons. I still get teary eyed when I see the PFLAG contingent marching in the Capitol Pride parade. Whenever I saw them, I’d usually run out into the middle of their group and get as many hugs from as many supportive parents as I could.

I’ve only recently begun to restrain myself from doing that, since I got kids of my own to parent. (One of whom is big enough to give great hugs.) But if they don’t mind, these PFLAG dads have made their way onto my list of “PFLAG Parents I’d Like To Hug.”

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Reports of my demise have been exaggerated, but only slightly.

Seriously, though. I don’t know how many people emailed me about that New York Times story on blogger burn-out, but it was enough that I began to wonder whether people were worried about me. Yes, I’ve been stressed lately. And yes, some of that stress has been blog-related. But I haven’t reached the end of my tether.

Not yet, anyway. But I can see it from here.

I didn’t get a chance to comment on the NYT story when it came out, but the disappearance of two important voices from the blogosphere in the last couple of weeks — seemingly swallowed up by the same conflict — brought it back to mind.

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Well, now what are they going to call themselves?

A Greek court has been asked to draw the line between the natives of the Aegean Sea island of Lesbos and the world’s gay women.

Three islanders from Lesbos — home of the ancient poet Sappho, who praised love between women — have taken a gay rights group to court for using the word lesbian in its name.

One of the plaintiffs said Wednesday that the name of the association, Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, “insults the identity” of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians.

“My sister can’t say she is a Lesbian,” said Dimitris Lambrou. “Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos,” he said.

The three plaintiffs are seeking to have the group barred from using “lesbian” in its name and filed a lawsuit on April 10. The other two plaintiffs are women.

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After the blogroll catastrophe last week, I thought maybe I needed to bring back the “round-up” posts I used to do, featuring favorite posts from whatever blogs I’m reading. I’m looking for a way to do this automatically in WordPress, and haven’t found an ideal solution yet. But for the time being I’ve found a relatively easy way to share some of the stuff I’ve been reading, but can’t find time to actually blog about.

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I’ve been called a lot of things, believe me. But “too black” has never been one of them, by any stretch of the imagination. So, I was initially amused when I read that The Bilerico Project — where I’m a regular contributor — has been accused of being “too black” and “too transgender.”

Monica Roberts has an interesting post on Transgriot about white flight that directly mentions TBP and some of the things people have been saying about us.

I’m also seeing and hearing the same whispers on other GLBT oriented lists that I peruse that Bilerico is ‘too Black’ or ‘too transgender’. Is that your code word or whatever the frack excuse you’re using for not only not wanting to read the posts of people that don’t look like you, but don’t want to engage in the frank discussions we have on various issues on the Project?

If that’s your opinion, you’re entitled to it. But basing those comments on a small portion of the generated comment of the Project being authored by African-American GLBT people is bigoted and asinine.

That just begs today’s open thread question… What kind of blog do you think Bilerico Project is? When you think of us, what’s the first word that pops in your head? Poll after the jump so you can vote on whether we are too [insert group here].

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This weekend, we attended a local conference for LGBT parents and families, and I spoke on a panel about interracial couples and intercultural families. At some point, I found myself speaking less as a gay dad and more as a black man raising two black sons, and wondering aloud just how I would prepare them for the reality of what they will likely face as black men, and how I will prepare them for that without catalyzing what I know is an inevitable loss of innocence; the same innocence I love to see in them, and so want to protect as a parent.

But I know that I will be doing them a disservice as their father if I don’t prepare them for the reality I’ve experience myself, and that they will both have to face in their own time. It’s no surprise that in the middle of the panel discussion, I remembered an exchange I had with my own father.

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I tried to do it last year, and just couldn’t. Now Shutdown Day is upon us again.

Shutdown Day is a Global Internet Experiment whose purpose is to get people to think about how their lives have changed with the increasing use of the home computer, and whether or not any good things are being lost because of this.

The idea of Shutdown Day project is simple – just shutdown your computer for one whole day of the year and involve yourself in some other activities: outdoors, nature, sports, fun stuff with friends and family – whatever, just to remind yourself that there still exists a world outside your monitor screen.

Michael Taylor, the original partner in the idea of Shutdown Day, says

“I certainly could not and would not want to live without my computer. However, I am often drawn into spending hours chatting on MSN, simply because my friends are online instead of socialising face to face. I am often too busy to cook a proper dinner, because I want to see the latest news on digg.com or the latest YouTube video. I know parents who are so addicted to the computer that they spend little time with their children, and I also know children who do not spend time with their parents because they are always using the computer. We are not preaching to anyone to turn off their computers. We are just suggesting that people might like to take part in this experiment, and see what happens.”

Well.

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What he said. In solidarity with the Day of Silence, I’m not posting anything else today.

If you’ve come here looking for something to read, I invite you to spend some time reading the stories collected in the LGBT Hate Crimes Project. (Which I’ve decided needs to be taken up again.)

Update: It’s encouraging to hear that so many schools in Montgomery County, MD, are participating, including the school our boys will eventually attend.

[Hat-tip to Kip for the reminder.]

What kind of blogger am I? Am I a “gay blogger”? Am I a “political blogger”? Am I a “Black blogger”? Which variety of blogger am I first?

Endless questions, without concrete answers. But it looks like I can add one more category: Daddy Blogger

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By TerranceDC

OK, I know I’m being completely superficial here. But this guy would only have to ask me to marry him once.

Spanish pop singer Enrique Iglesias says he has tried repeatedly to convince his girlfriend Anna Kournikova to marry him — with no luck.

Iglesias spoke to reporters Friday after arriving in the Dominican Republic for the first of nine concerts planned across Latin America.

Iglesias says he’s been involved with the tennis star for at least three years and says she keeps ignoring his appeals to wed. In his words, “I always try, but she pays me no attention.”

I mean, what’s the problem? He seems like a good guy with a good heart to me. Hell, I’d keep an officiant on retainer and ready to be there in 15 minutes or less the next time he asked.

But maybe she has her reasons. Or maybe it’s just something he tells the press when they ask him when about marriage, etc.

I love finding this kind of thing, and I think it’s worth pointing out when I do. We subscribe to Newsweek, and I usually thumb through the newest issue when it comes in, which is what I did when the “Splitsville” issue arrived. It sounds weird, but I start reading Newsweek from the back. I usually want to read “Newsmakers” first, then see what’s being reviewed as far as books, music, and movies, before I get to the feature story, about “the children of divorce, all grown up.”

Given the subject matter, I wasn’t expecting it to have a gay angle. (Because gay people can’t even get divorced, but that’s another story.) Lo and behold, when I finally got to the photo for the cover story, there it was. The gay angle. It wasn’t the story, but a part of the story. And that, folks, is progress.

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Jill poses an interesting question in her pose, “Who is a political writer?”

That’s the question Glamour is asking — and specifically, why it seems that so many political writers are men. And thanks to Ezra Klein for the shout-out. He makes the point that:

“There’s this rich and broad feminist blogosphere, which is heavily female and very political, but considered a different sort of animal. Is Jill Filipovic a political blogger? Ann Friedman?” he says. Male bloggers are seen as talking about politics with a universal point of view, but when we women bring our perspective to the field, it’s seen as as a minority opinion.

And “women’s issues” are seen as marginal, even though they often impact far more people than “mainstream,” more “serious” political issues. So women’s voices and issues are ghettoized, and women simply don’t seem to be talking about universal

So, I have to ask myself, am I a political blogger? Am I a political writer?

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It’s a question posed to some parents, and especially — in one form or another — gay parents. I was asked this question during an interview with Slovenian television (of all things). The question got cut from our segment of the interview, which instead included a short clip of me talking about gender roles (or the lack thereof) in our household. But when I saw that Details magazine has tackled the question, it seemed like a good time to address it.

Of course, Details didn’t ask this question of gay parents, but focused instead on heterosexual men. And not just any heterosexual men, but heterosexual men who have gay friends and are “okay” with gay people. To a point.

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Basketball!

Originally uploaded by TerranceDC

Flowers from our yard

Originally uploaded by TerranceDC

Just bloomed today. The hubby pointed them out. He told me what they are, but I can’t remember. I’m not the gardener in the family.

Thanks to an anonymous manager at CNN, I have a new favorite word: “neurotypical.” Or maybe it’s “neuro-atypical.” I’m not sure, but I know which one I am. So, I knew I’d find something to identify with when I (finally) sat down to read her account of how diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome in adulthood left her feeling like an “earthbound alien.”

Recently, at 48 years of age, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. For most of my life, I knew that I was “other,” not quite like everyone else. I searched for years for answers and found none, until an assignment at work required me to research autism. During that research, I found in the lives of other people with Asperger’s threads of similarity that led to the diagnosis. Although having the diagnosis has been cathartic, it does not change the “otherness.” It only confirms it.

When I talk to people about this aspect of myself, they always want to know what it means to be an “Aspie,” as opposed to a “Neurotypical” (NT). Oh, dear, where to start . …

Neurotypical? Now there’s a new one. I suppose though, it’s better than “normal,” which has obvious implications.

Where to start, indeed.

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Well, you won’t find it among the characteristics listed on the Scout Law. But, yeah, in my case a scout is queer.

A few weeks ago, I got an email from the National Eagle Scout Association. (Yes, I’m an Eagle Scout.) I either ignored it or forgot about. But they didn’t forget about me. I got this in my inbox this afternoon.

Do you have fond memories of all those camping trips on your Trail to Eagle? Or do you ever wonder where the other Eagles from your troop are now? Have you considered how being an Eagle Scout shapes your life even today?

The National Eagle Scout Association recently authorized the National Eagle Scout Search Project which will culminate in the publication of the Eagle Scout Roll of Honor. Roll of Honor will be the first-ever registration and publication of its kind – capturing nearly 100 years of Eagle Scout history, tradition, service and achievement.

Oh geez. Now I’ve got a dilemma.

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Remember this guy?

Sometimes, I’d swear I married him. Allow me to explain.

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I’d forgotten about this.

If a woman consents to having sex with a man but then during intercourse says no, and the man continues, is it rape?

n Maryland–as well as in North Carolina–when a woman says yes, she can’t take it back once sex has begun–or, at least, she can’t call the act rape.

That was the recent ruling by Maryland’s Court of Special Appeals in a case that may soon make its way to the state’s highest court and that has captured the attention of feminists and legal experts across the country. Advocates for victims’ rights insist it’s not just a matter of allowing a woman to have a change of heart. If the law doesn’t recognize a woman’s right to say no during sex, they say, there is no recourse for a woman who begins to feel pain or who learns her partner isn’t wearing a condom or has HIV. Those who are wary of these measures say they’re not arguing against having a man stop immediately when a woman no longer wants to have sex, but with how to define immediately.

Until I read this.

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Great minds, it’s said, think alike. Maybe twisted minds do too, and I just haven’t heard about it. This morning, while perusing my daily reads, I did a double-take when I read a post by Chris Bowers.

I’ve been a fan of Chris’ blogging for a while now. Maybe it’s because we both have an analytical bent, but after reading Bowers I almost always come away with something to think about. Occasionally I come away with something to write about).

Every once in a while, it seems like we’re thinking along the same lines. It’s happened before. And this morning I thought it happened again when I read Chris’ take on the wearing out of the “liberal elites” meme.

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