The Republic of T.

Black. Gay. Father. Vegetarian. Buddhist. Liberal.

The Gay Questionnaire

This reminds me of my days as co-director of the LGBT student group in college. Once a semester, we’d spend at least one meeting sitting in a circle, telling our coming our stories when new members showed up. We stopped after we realize we could go around the room and tell each others’ stories.

How gay am I? How gay are you? Well, it’s anybody’s guess. But there’s a questionnaire that, while it won’t provide an answer, seems like an interesting diversion on an afternoon when I’m running on about two hour of sleep. I found it at Put ‘Em All On an Island, who got it from HiStoriesOfSex, who got it from wonder boy, who got it from addaboy, and after that I lost the thread.

Still, I’m too brain dead to think of anything serious to blog about. So, I’m joining the daisy chain. Check the questions after the jump, and feel free to chime in.

1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?

I was around 11 or 12.

2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?

Nope. Never wanted to. Never even was curious.

3. Who was the first person you came out to?

My therapist. My parents put me in therapy when I came home one day, so upset from being bullied that I said I wanted to take a gun to school, blow the other kids away, then use it on myself. At our first meeting, I sat down and told the therapist, “If we’re going to work together, you need to know two things about me. One is that I’m gay, and the other is I’m not here to change that.” After he got over being stunned, he said “Let’s just work on the whole person and let that part fall in to place where it will.”

4. Are you out to your family?

Yup.

5. Do you want children?

Already got two beautiful ones. Boys, ages five-years and six-months old

6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?

Before I became a dad, probably about 99.9% of my friends were gay. Now my friends are about 50% gay, because becoming parents changed our social life, so that we socialize with other parents more often.

7. Were you out in school?

Yes. And I paid a price for it by getting bullied and harassed for 2.5 years, before I changed schools.

8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?

Yup.

9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?

I married him.

10. Have you ever done crystal meth?

No. I had more than a decade of sobriety under my belt by the time that meth became popular. If it had been around during my active drinking career, I probably would have tried it.

11. Have you ever been in a sling?

Nope.

12. Have you ever done a 3-way?

Are you kidding? With my ADD? Nope.

13. Have you ever dressed in drag?

Yup.

14. Would you date a drag queen?

Yup. But I’m understanding that to mean someone who dressed in the attire of the opposite sex, and maybe performs, but lives as a man.

15. Are you a top/bottom or truly versatile?

I’ve been told I’m a talented boy. More than that you don’t need to know, unless you’re in my bed.

16. Have you seen an uncircumcised penis?

Yup. A few.

17. Have you had sex with someone of a different ethnicity?

If you put together the guys I’ve slept with, it might look something like a Benetton ad.

18. Have you ever barebacked? No thanks.

Nope. The HIV/AIDS epidemic hit right after I came out.

19. How many Cher CDs do you own?

Do maxi-singles count? If so, then about seven or eight.

20. Name of your first love?

Does it count if they’re straight, and never loved you back? If so, then it’s Brian.

21. Do you still talk to them?

Not since high school graduation.

22. Does size matter?

Size isn’t everything, but we have a saying where I come from: You can’t make butter with a toothpick.

23. Biggest turn on?

Honestly? It’s different for different people.

24. Biggest turn off?

Cruelty and ignorance.

25. Ever been harassed due to you orientation?

Yes. Through most of middle school. Also got some threats when I was in college.

26. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?

Being less than the epitome of masculinity. That and show tunes.

27. Ever been to a pride rally?

Several. These days we go as a family.

28. Would you marry if you could?

I’d marry my husband in a heartbeat, if it were legal.

29. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?

Rich and smart. Youth and beauty fade, but if your rich enough and smart enough you can buy them back.

30. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?

Never touched ’em. But I get occasional compliments on how arched they are.

31. Do you trim your body hair?

A few times, back when I did drag for fun.

32. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day>

Yup.

33. Ever been to an orgy?

Nope.

34. Have you dated your best friends ex?

Once, in college.

35. Would you vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president?

Moot question.

36. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?

Yes. To me, energy spent looking for other partners would be energy I’m not putting into my relationship.

37. Do you believe in true love?

Believe in it? My life is loaded with it.

38. Do you have any tattoos?

Nope. Thought about getting one.

39. Do you have any piercings?

Two in my left ear.

40. Would you date a smoker?

Nope.

41. Do you get HIV tests every 6 months?

Yes.

42. Do you know anyone who has died from HIV?

Too many.

43. Do you know what Stonewall was?

The police raided one gay bar too many, on a night when the queens were not having it, and the modern gay rights movement was born.

44. Strangest place you have had sex?

Under a desk.

45. Strangest place you’ve woken up?

In a car.

46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?

Ahead of me.

47. Favorite porn movie?

Don’t have one.

48. Are you in love now?

Madly, with my husband.

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy?

Yup. In high school. It sucked.

50. Did you ever have sex with him?

Almost.

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?

Nope.

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?

Nope.

53. Ever had sex in public?

Nope.

54. Have you ever been/stayed in a relationship for Money or Security, instead of Love and Friendship?

No. I can take care of myself, rather than do that.

55. Have you ever keyed someone’s car?

Nope.

56. Have you ever fantasized killing someone not famous?

Nope. Except for my middle school tormenters.

57. Have you ever witnessed someone dying?

Yes.

58. Have you ever contemplated suicide?

Yes.

59. Are you glad you’re still here?

Yes. I would hate to have missed on my life with the hubby and the kids.

3 Comments

  1. 1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?

    I was around 8 or 9.

    2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?

    Never.

    3. Who was the first person you came out to?

    My best friend, who happened to be lesbian too.

    4. Are you out to your family?

    Yes, though only recently.

    5. Do you want children?

    I never have and don’t imagine I ever will.

    6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?

    More gay than straight, but I tend to keep a very small circle of friends.

    7. Were you out in school?

    No. I had enough problems without adding homophobia to the mix.

    8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?

    Yes.

    9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?

    No.

    10. Have you ever done crystal meth?

    Heck no.

    11. Have you ever been in a sling?

    No.

    12. Have you ever done a 3-way?

    No. I was a virgin until I met the woman I’m about to marry.

    13. Have you ever dressed in drag?

    I was a bit of a tomboy when I was younger but I never actually dressed in drag.

    14. Would you date a drag queen?

    If I ever started dating again (which I don’t anticipate as I’m getting married) I’d consider it.

    15. Are you a top/bottom or truly versatile?

    I’m quite versatile.

    16. Have you seen an uncircumcised penis?

    Yes, but only in the line of duty.

    17. Have you had sex with someone of a different ethnicity?

    Does an Italian-American count?

    18. Have you ever barebacked?

    N/A

    19. How many Cher CDs do you own?

    None.

    20. Name of your first love?

    Paula.

    21. Do you still talk to them?

    Once in a while.

    22. Does size matter?

    N/A

    23. Biggest turn on?

    Kindness, attentiveness.

    24. Biggest turn off?

    Apathy, cruelty.

    25. Ever been harassed due to you orientation?

    The usual names and hate-speech. Thankfully nothing physical…yet.

    26. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?

    Supposedly I have the “scary deep lesbian voice”.

    27. Ever been to a pride rally?

    Once.

    28. Would you marry if you could?

    I’m going to in a few weeks.

    29. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?

    Rich and smart. Youth and beauty only last so long and get you so far.

    30. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?

    No. There’s no use–they’re practically transparent.

    31. Do you trim your body hair?

    Some of it.

    32. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day>

    No.

    33. Ever been to an orgy?

    No.

    34. Have you dated your best friends ex?

    No.

    35. Would you vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president?

    If she were still around I would.

    36. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?

    Absolutely.

    37. Do you believe in true love?

    I have it.

    38. Do you have any tattoos?

    No. They’re definitely not for me.

    39. Do you have any piercings?

    Three in one ear and two in the other.

    40. Would you date a smoker?

    I am.

    41. Do you get HIV tests every 6 months?

    I don’t have any need right now.

    42. Do you know anyone who has died from HIV?

    No.

    43. Do you know what Stonewall was?

    Of course.

    44. Strangest place you have had sex?

    Standing on an empty beach under the moonlight at around 1am.

    45. Strangest place you’ve woken up?

    At a friend’s house after too much to drink (but nothing kinky).

    46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?

    Ahead of me.

    47. Favorite porn movie?

    Don’t have one.

    48. Are you in love now?

    Indeed, with my fiancee.

    49. Ever been in love with a straight woman?

    Not in love, but I had a crush on one once.

    50. Did you ever have sex with her?

    No.

    51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?

    No.

    52. Have you ever been to a bath house?

    No.

    53. Ever had sex in public?

    Sort of…the deserted beach at 1am.

    54. Have you ever been/stayed in a relationship for Money or Security, instead of Love and Friendship?

    No.

    55. Have you ever keyed someone’s car?

    Never.

    56. Have you ever fantasized killing someone not famous?

    No.

    57. Have you ever witnessed someone dying?

    Yes.

    58. Have you ever contemplated suicide?

    Yes.

    59. Are you glad you’re still here?

    Absolutely.

  2. 1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?

    Can’t remember back that far.

    2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?

    Nope. Never wanted to. Never even was curious.

    3. Who was the first person you came out to?
    Can’t remember back that far.

    4. Are you out to your family?

    Yes.

    5. Do you want children?

    No.

    6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?

    50/50.

    7. Were you out in school?

    No.

    8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?

    Yes.

    9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?

    I married him.

    10. Have you ever done crystal meth?

    No.

    11. Have you ever been in a sling?

    No.

    12. Have you ever done a 3-way?

    Yes.

    13. Have you ever dressed in drag?

    No.

    14. Would you date a drag queen?

    Yes.

    15. Are you a top/bottom or truly versatile?

    Yes.

    16. Have you seen an uncircumcised penis?

    Yes.

    17. Have you had sex with someone of a different ethnicity?

    Yes.

    18. Have you ever barebacked?

    Yes.

    19. How many Cher CDs do you own?

    One.

    20. Name of your first love?

    Can’t remember back that far.

    21. Do you still talk to them?

    Can’t remember back that far.

    22. Does size matter?

    No.

    23. Biggest turn on?

    Eye’s and smile.

    24. Biggest turn off?

    Cruelty and ignorance.

    25. Ever been harassed due to you orientation?

    Yes.

    26. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?

    Being less than the epitome of masculinity.

    27. Ever been to a pride rally?

    Yes.

    28. Would you marry if you could?

    I can and I did.

    29. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?

    Rich and smart. Youth and beauty fade.

    30. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?

    No.

    31. Do you trim your body hair?

    I shave my face every day.
    My body? Never.

    32. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day.

    Yes.

    33. Ever been to an orgy?

    Yes.

    34. Have you dated your best friends ex?

    Yes.

    35. Would you vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president?

    No.

    36. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?

    Don’t care.

    37. Do you believe in true love?

    Yes.

    38. Do you have any tattoos?

    No.

    39. Do you have any piercings?

    No.

    40. Would you date a smoker?

    No.

    41. Do you get HIV tests every 6 months?

    No.

    42. Do you know anyone who has died from HIV?

    Yes.

    43. Do you know what Stonewall was?

    Yes.

    44. Strangest place you have had sex?

    That would be the butt, Bob.

    45. Strangest place you’ve woken up?

    In my bed with someone I have never met before.

    46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?

    My heart says ahead but my brain says behind.

    47. Favorite porn movie?

    Changes daily.

    48. Are you in love now?

    Madly, with my husband.

    49. Ever been in love with a straight guy?

    Yes.

    50. Did you ever have sex with him?

    Yes.

    51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?

    Yes.

    52. Have you ever been to a bath house?

    Nope.

    53. Ever had sex in public?

    Yes.

    54. Have you ever been/stayed in a relationship for Money or Security, instead of Love and Friendship?

    No.

    55. Have you ever keyed someone’s car?

    No.

    56. Have you ever fantasized killing someone not famous?

    Yes.

    57. Have you ever witnessed someone dying?

    Yes.

    58. Have you ever contemplated suicide?

    Yes.

    59. Are you glad you’re still here?

    Yes.

  3. 1. How old were you when you knew you were gay? About 9-10yo
    2. Ever had sex with the opposite sex? Nope. Never Curious.
    3. First person you came out to? A high school friend, years after grad.
    4. Out to your family? Yes.
    5. Want children? Maybe. Pictured myself as father, but not sure now.
    6. Have more gay or straight friends? Mostly straight. Few gay
    7. Were you out in school? Nope.
    8. Is your best friend the same sex as you? Yes.
    9. If your best friend is the same sex, ever had sex with them? No.
    10. Ever done crystal meth? No. I prob would given circle of friends.
    11. Ever been in a sling? No.
    12. Ever done a 3-way? No. Never had the chance. 😛
    13. Ever dressed in drag? No.
    14. Would you date a drag queen? Yes, but like T, only performers.
    15. Top/bottom or truly versatile? Bottom.
    16. Seen an uncircumcised penis? Yes.
    17. Had sex with different ethnicity? Yes. I’m Asian, my partner’s black.
    18. Ever barebacked? No.
    19. How many Cher CDs do you own? 2 maxis
    20. Name of your first love? Nolan
    21. Do you still talk to them? Nope. My family moved.
    22. Does size matter? Not sure…
    23. Biggest turn on? Wit
    24. Biggest turn off? Stupidity
    25. Been harassed due to you orientation? Yeah. Name calling.
    26. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you? Loves Barbra Streisand
    27. Ever been to a pride rally? Yeah. Not lately — too gay for me. 😉
    28. Would you marry if you could? Yeah – for legal protections.
    29. Rich & smart or young & beautiful? Rich & smart. Plastic surgery, baby.
    30. Sculpt your eyebrows? No.
    31. Trim your body hair? Yes.
    32. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day? No.
    33. Ever been to an orgy? No.
    34. Dated your best friends ex? No – I’m not into girls.
    35. Vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president? Irrelevant.
    36. Want monogamy in your relationships? Yeah.
    37. Believe in true love? Yep. I’m with mine.
    38. Have any tattoos? No. I want one.
    39. Have any piercings? Both ears pierced
    40. Would you date a smoker? Used to.
    41. Get HIV tests every 6 months? Yes.
    42. Know anyone who has died from HIV? Yes – a few.
    43. Know what Stonewall was? Yeah.
    44. Strangest place you have had sex? Laundry room of apart. complex.
    45. Strangest place you’ve woken up? Inside my closet.
    46. Best years behind or in front of you? In front of me, I hope.
    47. Favorite porn movie? Don’t remember.
    48. Are you in love now? Yes. Very much so.
    49. Ever been in love with a straight guy? Yes. In jr. hi & hi school.
    50. Did you ever have sex with him? Nah. They straight. (AFAIK)
    51. Ever been to a nude beach? No.
    52. Ever been to a bath house? Yeah. Met my partner there.
    53. Ever had sex in public? Yeah. Technically.
    54. Stayed in a relationship for Money or Security? No.
    55. Ever keyed someone’s car? No.
    56. Ever fantasized killing someone not famous? Yeah.
    57. Ever witnessed someone dying? No.
    58. Ever contemplated suicide? Yes.
    59. Are you glad you’re still here? Yes.

%d bloggers like this: