How gay am I? How gay are you? Well, it’s anybody’s guess. But there’s a questionnaire that, while it won’t provide an answer, seems like an interesting diversion on an afternoon when I’m running on about two hour of sleep. I found it at Put ‘Em All On an Island, who got it from HiStoriesOfSex, who got it from wonder boy, who got it from addaboy, and after that I lost the thread.
Still, I’m too brain dead to think of anything serious to blog about. So, I’m joining the daisy chain. Check the questions after the jump, and feel free to chime in.
1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?
I was around 11 or 12.
2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?
Nope. Never wanted to. Never even was curious.
3. Who was the first person you came out to?
My therapist. My parents put me in therapy when I came home one day, so upset from being bullied that I said I wanted to take a gun to school, blow the other kids away, then use it on myself. At our first meeting, I sat down and told the therapist, “If we’re going to work together, you need to know two things about me. One is that I’m gay, and the other is I’m not here to change that.” After he got over being stunned, he said “Let’s just work on the whole person and let that part fall in to place where it will.”
4. Are you out to your family?
5. Do you want children?
Already got two beautiful ones. Boys, ages five-years and six-months old
6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?
Before I became a dad, probably about 99.9% of my friends were gay. Now my friends are about 50% gay, because becoming parents changed our social life, so that we socialize with other parents more often.
7. Were you out in school?
Yes. And I paid a price for it by getting bullied and harassed for 2.5 years, before I changed schools.
8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?
9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?
I married him.
10. Have you ever done crystal meth?
No. I had more than a decade of sobriety under my belt by the time that meth became popular. If it had been around during my active drinking career, I probably would have tried it.
11. Have you ever been in a sling?
12. Have you ever done a 3-way?
Are you kidding? With my ADD? Nope.
13. Have you ever dressed in drag?
14. Would you date a drag queen?
Yup. But I’m understanding that to mean someone who dressed in the attire of the opposite sex, and maybe performs, but lives as a man.
15. Are you a top/bottom or truly versatile?
I’ve been told I’m a talented boy. More than that you don’t need to know, unless you’re in my bed.
16. Have you seen an uncircumcised penis?
Yup. A few.
17. Have you had sex with someone of a different ethnicity?
If you put together the guys I’ve slept with, it might look something like a Benetton ad.
18. Have you ever barebacked? No thanks.
Nope. The HIV/AIDS epidemic hit right after I came out.
19. How many Cher CDs do you own?
Do maxi-singles count? If so, then about seven or eight.
20. Name of your first love?
Does it count if they’re straight, and never loved you back? If so, then it’s Brian.
21. Do you still talk to them?
Not since high school graduation.
22. Does size matter?
Size isn’t everything, but we have a saying where I come from: You can’t make butter with a toothpick.
23. Biggest turn on?
Honestly? It’s different for different people.
24. Biggest turn off?
Cruelty and ignorance.
25. Ever been harassed due to you orientation?
Yes. Through most of middle school. Also got some threats when I was in college.
26. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?
Being less than the epitome of masculinity. That and show tunes.
27. Ever been to a pride rally?
Several. These days we go as a family.
28. Would you marry if you could?
I’d marry my husband in a heartbeat, if it were legal.
29. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?
Rich and smart. Youth and beauty fade, but if your rich enough and smart enough you can buy them back.
30. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?
Never touched ’em. But I get occasional compliments on how arched they are.
31. Do you trim your body hair?
A few times, back when I did drag for fun.
32. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day>
33. Ever been to an orgy?
34. Have you dated your best friends ex?
Once, in college.
35. Would you vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president?
36. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?
Yes. To me, energy spent looking for other partners would be energy I’m not putting into my relationship.
37. Do you believe in true love?
Believe in it? My life is loaded with it.
38. Do you have any tattoos?
Nope. Thought about getting one.
39. Do you have any piercings?
Two in my left ear.
40. Would you date a smoker?
41. Do you get HIV tests every 6 months?
42. Do you know anyone who has died from HIV?
43. Do you know what Stonewall was?
The police raided one gay bar too many, on a night when the queens were not having it, and the modern gay rights movement was born.
44. Strangest place you have had sex?
Under a desk.
45. Strangest place you’ve woken up?
In a car.
46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?
Ahead of me.
47. Favorite porn movie?
Don’t have one.
48. Are you in love now?
Madly, with my husband.
49. Ever been in love with a straight guy?
Yup. In high school. It sucked.
50. Did you ever have sex with him?
51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
52. Have you ever been to a bath house?
53. Ever had sex in public?
54. Have you ever been/stayed in a relationship for Money or Security, instead of Love and Friendship?
No. I can take care of myself, rather than do that.
55. Have you ever keyed someone’s car?
56. Have you ever fantasized killing someone not famous?
Nope. Except for my middle school tormenters.
57. Have you ever witnessed someone dying?
58. Have you ever contemplated suicide?
59. Are you glad you’re still here?
Yes. I would hate to have missed on my life with the hubby and the kids.