The Republic of T.

Black. Gay. Father. Vegetarian. Buddhist. Liberal.

Last Lecture, First Time

I’d heard about Randy Paulsch and his “last lecture.” I’m sure I even bookmarked it to view later, but I never got around to looking at it until this weekend, when I read the news of his death.

I think I was afraid to watch it. Readers of this blog will know that for the last several years I’ve struggled with not so much the pain of lost dreams as with the nagging itch of dreams indefinitely deferred, and with the feeling that I missed the chance to reach for them and ended up a late bloomer, married with children, and with responsibilities and expectations that take priority over those dreams. However much they might poke through the wrapping of my life, I’ve been reluctant to take off the wrapping and take a good long look at them. After all, then I’d have to decide what to do with them.

But last night I surfed over to YouTube and watched the video. By the time he got to the first dream he didn’t achieve, I turned off the television and tried to give Paulsch my full attention.

What did I think of it? What did I take away from it? I can’t say right now. Just can’t.

One Comment

  1. I watched it when it first came out. At the time, what I took away was the 3 things you need to say in order to really say you’re sorry. I was actually dealing with a less-than-satisfying apology from someone at the time, and he put words to my feelings.

    I’m not sure I could be so upbeat in the face of certain death. Even if I was leaving a love note to my kids, I think I would have been more somber.