The Republic of T.

Black. Gay. Father. Vegetarian. Buddhist. Liberal.

Should I Shut Down?

This isn’t anything but an honest question. Should I shut this blog down?

I ask because the realities of my life are such that — no matter how much I want to do it — writing is one of the last things I get to do. My morning are always taken up by the same routine, which is basically about four hours of this.

During which I read a lot of stuff, much of which starts me thinking about stuff that I want to write about. After which, I’m mentally drained from the repetitiveness of the task and the frustration of not having the to write about any of the stuff percolating in my brain. (Oh, I should add that I get to be on conference calls with people who job it is to write, talking about the stuff they’re going to write about that day. Lately, I hang up halfway through and just go back to my ongoing copy-paste routine. I don’t think anybody notices. Puts me in the mood to watch Amadeus again.)

Then I go to lunch. Then come back, and take care of whatever has landed on my desk. Then I start reading and compiling the stuff I’ll have to copy and paste the next day. Or I go to a meeting where laptops are not allowed.

Then I go home. On the train,  might attempt to do some reading or writing of my own., have dinner, play with the kids, put them to bed and talk to the hubby. Then, then I finally have time to do the reading or writing I want to do. And, of course, physical exhaustion sets in, and I have to give it up and go to bed. (Because I’ve got to do it all over again the next day.)

Thus, if I do write more than a couple of paragraphs about something, it takes me several days. In the meantime, I get to find out during my morning routine how many other people have already written about it, and that I no longer have much to add.

So I don’t post much here. Or anywhere, really. I wondered today if it’s time for me to give up this blog. I still have posting privileges at Pams, Booman, Bilerico, and the Huffington Post. But it wouldn’t be the same as having a place of my own where I wan post whatever I want.

On the other hand, how much time to I have to post here? (I’m already late for the train and the rest of my evening, and it’ll be at least three hours more before I have time to read or write anything.)

So, thoughts?

12 Comments

  1. T, I’ve always enjoyed your thoughtful postings, and I miss the frequency of entries from you. However, given your family situation and the amount of time you have, it’s understandable to contemplate giving up the blog.

    What I found different about blog entries from you is that they go a lot further in connecting the dots between the issue of concern and perhaps other related areas. Many blogs I follow contain concentrated thought about one issue, but doesn’t really go into much detail about how that one issue connects to another and another and so forth. That’s where I found your blog special and particularly enjoyable. Of course, the depth that you’d go into takes a huge amount of time — which you already have trouble allocating.

    One major thing that concerns me (and perhaps other readers) is access to your past entries — are you talking about shutting down the website completely or just stop adding new entries? I, for one, do use your past blog entries, like the Poisonous Parenting series or the LGBT Het Crimes Project series, as a starting point for researching particular topics. I’ll be sad to see that go away.

  2. The decision to shut down is a difficult one to make. I, myself, stopped blogging because life got in the way… so I certainly know where you’re coming from.

    That being said, I follow your blog religiously. If you do shut down, I hope you’ll offer links for fans like myself to find your musings elsewhere. I still live online, but now it’s more via social networking. Sites like Facebook give microblogging opportunities that fulfill my blogging desires.

    I hope you continue making your voice heard online. It’s a powerful one.

  3. As you know, only you can walk your own path. 🙂 That being said, perhaps before moving toward shutting down, you could consider changing your expectations of what you feel you should deliver — write what you can when you have time. Try not to feel that you owe your readers content. Most importantly, find out if it is better to have a little satisfaction than none at all. If you shut the blog down, will you feel deprived of your own space in which to write? (Sure, you can always write privately, but will that meet your needs for dialogue?)

    I don’t know what the right answer is for you, sweetie. My only suggestion would be to move toward it gradually, perhaps, rather than going cold turkey?

    *hugs*

  4. NO.

    All you need is to re-learn how to write without words. The beauty about blogging is that you can divorce yourself from words, focus your creativity on other tools and then come back to writing when you’re ready.

  5. I only recently discovered your blog and I’ve been following it and a few other Buddhist blogs using Google reader. I appreciate your writing very much and hope you continue.

    I think it’s possible to set an unrealistic standard for ourselves about how often and how much we write, and perhaps you’re falling into that trap. Frankly I’m impressed by your output, but if you decide to write less that’s quite understandable. The great thing about an RSS reader for me is that I don’t have the experience of checking a site and being disappointed that there’s nothing new — new stuff just appears as if by magic in Google Reader. What I’m trying to express is what Katharine writes above — you don’t have to think you owe anybody anything. If you write then that’s great. If you don’t write for a while that’s fine and probably doesn’t trouble anybody.

  6. NO!
    I love your blog and your great writings, and by all means I want more. But I also appreciate the links you have when you can’t write and all your past writings. Please don’t abandon the blog, even if you don’t have time recently to give it allot of attention at least keep it up.

    Also have you considered podcasting? Just sit down for a few minutes in front of a microphone or camera and rant about everything you’ve been thinking about then post it here. That would demand allot less time than typing out all your thoughts. There may even be faithful readers willing to transcribe what you post.

  7. Terrance,

    Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly.

    Peace,

    Joe

  8. At the end of the day you gotta do what yr heart dictates, but I would miss ya.

    There ain’t many bloggers who write like you.

    Perhaps you could ease up on the entries, write less frequently rather than frequently.

    I know from my own writing, that there is much that I wanna write about, but only so much I can. So I write when I can.. perhasp you can do same?

    Microblogging, twitter, facebook, don’t really do it for me.

    Wot ever you do, DON’T DISAPPEAR!

  9. Wot ever you do, DON’T DISAPPEAR!

    That’s just it. I feel like I’m already disappearing. Just a little at a time.

  10. Well maybe it’s time to start reclaiming yourself……….. instead of giving up blogging/ writing… do it less regularly, and spread your major articles over several posts rather than writing single major articles [make sense].

    And, there is no race to be topical…… your voice is what makes your blog so special, not necessarily its topicality.

  11. Your posts are so encyclopedic and comprehensive, no wonder they burn you out! I like to think my posts are thorough, but they’re tweets compared to what you write. Maybe you could learn to impose some length (and thereby time) limits on yourself.

    Just know that you are being read and enjoyed! 🙂

  12. Like the others say, it’s a matter of putting yourself first. You don’t have a duty to the world to blog. That said, I’d miss you if you stop writing.

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