The Republic of T.

I’ve never readSuze Orman’s books, and I’ve only seen part of one of her television appearances. I got as far as writing down my “money fears,” as she called them, but no further. Talking finances alternately confuses me, frustrates me, and — on occasion — depresses me. But I listened to Orman and watched her enough to get a “vibe” from her; one that made me wonder if she had secrets that weren’t just financial.

Turns out, my “gaydar” doesn’t just work with men. Albeit somewhat reluctantly, Orman came out recently about her seven year relationship with another woman, and some “money fears” of her own.

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It will be interesting to see what, if any, reaction people have to news that a lesbian couple in New Jersey won the right to both be listed as parents on their child’s birth certificate. And on the day before the kid was born.

Two women will be listed as parents on the birth certificate of a baby born this week in New Jersey, one of the first implications of a state Supreme Court ruling that gives same-sex couples access to the same rights as married couples.

The state and the women agreed in a closed family court proceeding Monday, the day before the child was born, that both women should be listed in light of the landmark high court ruling.

A judge agreed with the state and the women, lawyers said.

In New Jersey, birth certificates are typically mailed to parents.

Assistant Attorney General Patrick DeAlmeida said the women are the first he knows of to take advantage of new rights granted by the Oct. 25 ruling.

It’s something that’s come up for discussion here before. And since Dana reminded me that it’s National Adoption Month, and National Adoption Day is actually the day after Parker’s birthday (and the day of his birthday party; yes, there will be pictures), this seems like a good time to talk about how this issue particularly affects gay families. Because some of us have been refused reissued birth certificates for our kids before. And it throws our families into legal limbo

I suspect the birth certificate question will be an issue for some people, but the article is right about the importance of a birth certificate in everything from health insurance to custody. Should we ever be required to prove our parental relationship to our son (setting aside for now what a nightmare that would be), the birth certificate is an important document to have, because the reality our families face is that at the worst possible moments we may be required to “prove” our relationships to one another, and wonder if they’ll be recognized even with documentation.

That’s true not just for same-sex couples, but for our kids too. Imagine being kept from your child at a moment when they’re probably scared and vulnerable. Now imagine being a child kept from your parents when you’re scared and vulnerable.

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It’s been another week of ups and downs, but more-so because it included the anniversary that no one can help but remember. I hadn’t decided whether to post some remembrance of the day, until I thought about the gay & lesbian Americans who lost their lives that day, some in the course of acting heroically to help others in the midst of the terror. Needless to say, I wanted to do my part to remember them and honor who they were.

Speaking of acting heroically, we lost someone this week whom I think fits the category. Tyrone Garner was one half of the couple behind in the Lawrence v. Texas Supreme Court ruling, which struck down state “sodomy laws.” Anyone who helped bring the court to a point of deciding that something which “demeans the lives of homosexual persons” should not stand definitely deserves to be remembered. As for the rest of the week, well, there was a lot more to remember

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I came by this video via an email listserve for gay dads. It’s a Dutch kid singing about having two gay dads, and it’s pretty cool. But then, I’m probably a little biased. >

Can you imagine the response if a kid appeared in American television, happily singing about having two dads? In front of an audience full of kids? And if they sang along with him?

I haven’t posted much about it, but since March we’ve been in the process of completing the paperwork for our second adoption. Well, this week we completed our adoption profile and got word from our adoption agency that our profile is officially “in the books.” That means that it’s been added to the binders containing all of the other adoptive family profiles, which birth parents look through to select potential adoptive families from among which they’ll finally choose one.

Essentially, it means we’re on the waiting list to adopt a baby.

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