The Republic of T.

OK, first 100,000 fish turn up dead along an Arkansas River. Then 5,000 birds drop out of the sky in Arkansas. Or vice versa. Either way they happened about 100 miles apart. In both cases, only one or mainly one species was affected — drum fish, red-wing blackbirds and starlings. WTF is going on in Arkansas?

I would just like to say that as a southerner it is both against my nature and my religion to leave my house under the current weather conditions. Nonetheless, despite a cracked rail on the Metro, I made it to the office this morning.

Dancing With The Stars is neither about dancing nor stars. Discuss.

Parker recently learned the word “overprotective” and now sometimes jokingly says I’m, well, overprotective. Whatever, but if I can keep my kids from getting hurt I’m gonna do it. Case in point: the shredder. I read a while back about the dangers paper shredders pose to kids and pets. Since then, I’ve kept ours unplugged. We plug it in, use it, and then unplug it again. Stories like this one about a 4-year-old who turns on paper shredder and sticks his fingers inside remind me why that’s a good idea. I’d like my kids to keep all their fingers.

Great. The plugin I rely upon to create digest posts when I don’t have time to write anything seems to be on the fritz. And like most things that break in my life, I have no time to try and fix it. If it doesn’t fix itself, expect a lost more blog silence here.

We’re on a bit of a family vacation this week. So posting may be sparse, though I do have one in the works.

I was wondering why my face hurts and why I have a splitting headache. Then I realized, I’ve been clenching my teeth all day. Probably because of the morning I’ve had, and because Pepco’s outage map indicates that my journey home will longer due to signal outages, and when I get home it will be hot, dark, and without much to do.

Just keeps getting stranger and stranger. “Triple Murder Suicide Plot”?

Ooops. So much for teaching kids to “always tell the truth.” Apparently, toddlers who tell lies make for more successful adults. I’m not sure if that says something important about child development, or something sad about the kind of society we live in.

I’m chaperoning the first grade field trip to the national zoo this morning. Wish me luck!

I can honestly say, I didn’t know any of these things.

Speaking of bearing grudges, while Wall Street bonuses were up 17% in 2009, nearly 25% of mortgages are “underwater.”

OK. I realize it’s just a statement about proposed legislation another country, but George W. Bush would never have condemned the Uganda anti-gay bill as ‘odious’. Let alone as a prayer breakfast.

This is rich. Sarah Paling wants President Obama to fire White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel for referring to colleagues in a closed-door meeting as “f—ing retarded.” Please, lady. Look Rahm’s an asshole, granted. But when did you renounced the veiled and not-so-thinly-veiled racism so flagrantly on display at your rallies? When you weren’t busy ignoring it or stirring it up? Tell ya what, Sarah. You go first.

How many of those extinct mammals lived in the rainforest?

Mammals may be nearly half way toward mass extinction? Like, doesn’t that include us?

I don’t mind jury service. Really, I don’t. (I’ve yet to be on a jury, though.) But if you’re going to make me sit in one place most of the day, at least have wi-fi that doesn’t suck. Ok?

Lemme see… I’m not (a) married to Tiger Woods, (b) sleeping with Tiger Woods, (c) even remotly a part of Tiger Woods’ universe. Thus, I don’t care whether he had an affair or not. It only makes it more apparent that he’s human, which it not news. He doesn’t need to apologize to me or anyone else, just the people who matter: his wife and family. Beyond that, it’s nobody’s business but theirs. Kudos to him for refusing to play it out in the press. So far.

Color me “not surprised.” For some odd reason, people would occasionally ask me if Meridith Baxter was gay. Like, I was supposed to know? I always said that as far as I knew, she wasn’t. But I always got a “vibe” from her that made me wonder. I’ll just file this one under “I Knew It.”

I’ve got about three different posts in the works. So, if I’m not posting, it’s because I’m writing. However, I wanted to come up for air and recommend this great column on religion and economics. It’s so full of ideas that I can’t find just a short excerpt to quote. Go read the whole thing. I’m reading it, and it will factor into the stuff I’m writing now.