I figured at some point the gay jokes would fly and I’m well prepared for a good ribbing of straight gay humor. I have very thick skin when it comes to humor; I can dish and I can take. What I can’t take is when Mr. Morgan took it upon himself to mention about how he feels all this gay shit was crazy and that women are a gift from God and that “Born this Way” is bullshit, gay is a choice, and the reason he knows this is exactly because “God don’t make no mistakes” (referring to God not making someone gay cause that would be a mistake).

He said that there is no way a woman could love and have sexual desire for another woman, that’s just a woman pretending because she hates a fucking man.

He took time to visit the bullshit of this bullying stuff and informed us that the gays needed to quit being pussies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying. He mentioned that gay was something kids learn from the media and programming, and that bullied kids should just bust some ass and beat those other little fuckers that bully them, not whine about it.

He said if his son that was gay he better come home and talk to him like a man and not [he mimicked a gay, high pitched voice] or he would pull out a knife and stab that little N (one word I refuse to use) to death.

He mentioned that Barack Obama needed to man up and quit being all down with this just because he has a wife and two daughters.

Morgan has since issued an apology “to my fans & the gay & lesbian community” for his “choice of words” and a routine that “went too far.”

Well.

I am not a Tracy Morgan fan. But as a member of the community to which he apologized, I do not accept his apology, nor do I forgive him. I am not sure what could persuade me to do either at this point.

Apologizing for his “choice of words” is nearly as offensive as the “comedy” routine that landed him trouble in the first place. There are no words, however carefully chosen, that can make the sentiments Morgan expressed remotely defensible.

Words can be tremendously hurtful, but the issue here is not mere words. Word reflect the thoughts and beliefs that inform and inspire them. Those same thoughts and beliefs drive choices and actions that have devastating, and often deadly, consequences for real people with real lives, resulting in realities that are far from funny.

When I read that Morgan said “there is no way a woman could love and have sexual desire for another woman, that’s just a woman pretending because she hates a fucking man,” I thought of the phenomenon of “corrective rape”, that’s made headlines most recently in South Africa.

The unending cases of “corrective rape” that have plagued South Africa at alarming levels are still on the rise. Corrective rape is a criminal practice, whereby men rape lesbian women, purportedly as a means of “curing” the woman of her sexual orientation.

The latest victim is a twenty-four year old soccer player from Johannesburg who was stabbed to death minutes after dropping off her girlfriend. DA newsroom reports:

Ms Nogwaza’s murder – she was stoned, stabbed and gang-raped – is now the latest in what has become a string of violent assaults known as “corrective rapes”, which are allegedly intended to “cure” members of the gay and lesbian community of their sexual orientation. The Democratic Alliance (DA) unequivocally condemns these crimes and the contemptible motives behind them in the strongest terms. They are an affront to the constitutional values of freedom and equality which we all hold dear, and have rightly outraged progressive South Africans everywhere who recognise that gay rights are also human rights.

Noxolo was an avid LGBT campaigner and also worked at the Ekurhuleni Pride Organizing Committee. This is a continuous series of several rapes, some leading to death in South Africa; a month before another thirteen year old lesbian was also raped in Pretoria.

Tracy Morgan didn’t advocate “corrective rape.” He just gave voice to one of the thoughts or beliefs behind it: that lesbian sexuality it “disordered,” and that a woman who loves other women just “hates fucking a man”. The journey from thought/belief to words and actions isn’t a long one. It begins with beliefs like the one Morgan expressed, and only takes the idea that one has the right to “fix” such an egregious wrong.

How many lesbians have been told by heterosexual men that they are lesbians, “because you just haven’t had a real man yet”, who then decide to “cure” them? It’s impossible to tell, but the practice of “corrective rape” isn’t just a South African phenomenon.

• December 22, 2008: A lesbian woman in the San Francisco Area was jumped by four men, taunted for being a lesbian, repeatedly raped, and left naked outside an abandoned apartment building.
• March, 2009: A teenage lesbian in the United Kingdom was raped by a man after she rejected his advances, and he refused to accept that she was gay.

When I read that Morgan said that “the gays needed to quit being pussies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying,” I thought of Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Billy Lucas, Seth Walsh, Zach Harrington, Ty Smalley, Raymond Chase, Eric Mohat, Brandon Bitner, Corey Jackson, Justin Aaberg, Jeheem Herrera, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover and other kids who were bullied to the point of suicide because they were or were perceived to be gay.

I thought of how close I came to being one of them.

I wonder if Morgan could face their families and tell them that “bullied kids should just bust some ass and beat those other little fuckers that bully them”. I wonder if he could face them. If he wants to apologize to someone, let him face them and apologize in person after he hears their stories.

When I read that Morgan said that if his son was gay, he’d better “come home and talk to him like a man,” or he’d “stab the little n***** to death,” I thought of Ronnie Paris.

I decided to start with the story of Ronnie Paris.

Ronnie Antonio Paris (2001 – January 28, 2005) was a three-year-old African American boy who lived with his parents in Tampa, Florida. He died on January 28, 2005, due to brain injuries stemming from severe abuse at the hands of his father, who forced the child would turn out to be gay, and forced the boy to box with him in an effort to keep him from growing up “soft” or becoming a “sissy.”

The Background

In May 2002, the Florida Department of Children and Family Services removed Ronnie from his home and placed him in protective custody, after he was admitted to the hospital for repeated vomiting, and doctors determined he was undernourished and had a broken arm.

On December 14, 2004, five days after his third birthday, Ronnie was returned to his parents. On January 22, Ronnie slipped into a coma after falling asleep on a couch at a family friend’s house, where his parents were attending a Bible study. Upon realizing he was unconscious, his parents rushed in to the hospital. Ronnie died six days later, when he was removed from life support.[1]

During an investigation of the child’s death, his mother — Nysheera Paris — told detectives that her husband — Ronnie Paris, Jr. — had repeatedly abused the child, slapping him in the back of the head, slamming him into walls, and forcing the child to participate in father-son boxing matches until the boy began to shake, cry, and wet himself.[2]

The Trial

The child’s father was charged with murder and aggravated child abuse. His mother was charged with child neglect and failing to get medical attention for her son.[3]

In July 2005 Ronnie Paris Jr. went on trial for his son’s murder.

During the trial, Nysheera Parish testified that her husband thought their son might be gay, and that he would smack the boy in the back of the head and slam him into walls because he didn’t want his son to grow up “soft.” Her testimony was corroborated by her sister, Shanita Powell, who said “He was trying to teach him how to fight,” and told the court “He was afraid the child might be gay.

Family friend Sheldon Bostick, who attended Bible study with the Paris family, testified that Ronnie Paris, Jr., “slap-boxed” with his son because “He didn’t want him to be a sissy.”[4]

Forensic pathologist Dr. Sam Gulino noted the child’s scarred face and bruised head, and told the court that the lethargy and vomiting spells, the coma and eventual death were due to head trauma that was not accidental but deliberately inflicted.

The child’s foster mother testified that during the two years he lived with her, Ronnie never vomited, and had a healthy appetite.[5]

The Aftermath

In July 2005, after three hours of deliberation[6], a jury convicted Ronnie Paris, Jr. of second degree manslaughter and aggravated child abuse in the death of his son [7], Ronnie Antonio Paris. On August 19, 2004, he was sentenced to 30 years imprisonment. [8] Nysheera Paris was later sentenced to 5 years probation for culpable negligence in the death of her son[9]

I thought of Steen Fenrich.

Next was Steen Fenrich (And, no, I didn’t realize the similarity between the stories until after I’d finished with both.)

<Steen Fenrich (1981 – September 9, 1999) was a 19-year-old African American gay man who lived in Bayside, Queens New York. In March 2001 his dismembered remains were discovered. Police believe his stepfather, John Fenrich, killed his stepson in a homophobic rage.

The Background

Steen Fenrich entered the Army in July 1997, and served 9 months before he was discharged. In September 1999 he left his parent’s home in Dix Hills, and went missing. However, no one filed a missing person’s report on Fenrich.[1]

The Discovery

On March 21, 2000 the remains of Steen Fenrich were found by a man walking through Alley Pond Park, in Bayside, Queens, stored in a plastic blue tub. The tub contained a skull that had been burned by acid, a foot with some flesh still on it, and other body parts.

The remains were identified as those of Steen Fenrich by his Social Security Number, which had been written on the skull, along with racial and homophobic slurs. [2]

The Stepfather

Shortly after being told that his stepson’s remains had been found, John Fenrich called News 12 in Long Island and suggested a motive. Along with suggesting that his stepson had been killed “because he was gay.” The station later reported that Steen Fenrich had posed for gay pornographic photographs and had a contentious relationship with his stepfather.

Police said they had not yet told family members that Steen Fenrich’s remains had been dismembered. John Fenrich’s knowledge of the dismemberment led police to believe he killed his stepson.

The Motive

Police reported to Newsday[3] that they believed John Fenrich killed Steen on September 9, after an argument stemming from his stepson’s desire to move back home after an argument with his partner. Fenrich disapproved of his son’s homosexuality and was angered by his request to return home.[4]

Steen Fenrich’s partner told police that John Fenrich had always treated him with contempt, and had called him a few days after the argument to say that Steen was “going away for a couple of weeks.”

The Aftermath

On May 22, 2000, after talking to News 12, John Fenrich suddenly bolted from an interview with police in his home, climbed on the roof, fired guns and begged police to shoot him after declaring “I’m a failure as a father.”[5]

After an eight-hour standoff, John Fenrich committed suicide by shooting himself in the head.

I thought of Mikey Valeho Seiber.

Michael “Mikey” Vallejo-Seiber (August 12, 2002 – August 29, 2005) was a three year old boy who lived in Riverside, CA. On August 27, 2005, he was kicked, beaten, stomped, burned, sodomized, and forced to eat dog food and his own excrement by his mother’s boyfriend – Alex Kermith Mendoza. Mendoza critical of Vallejo-Seiber’s upbringing, calling the child a “sissy” and saying he wanted to make him a “soldier.”

The Background

Pamela Sieber, 23, met aspiring rapper Alex Kermith Mendoza, 27, in July 2005, at the nightclub where she worked as a dancer. In early August, she and her son – Mikey Vallejo-Seiber – began spending time at Mendoza’s home in Rubidoux. On August.1) Mendoza had spent time in prison for drug dealing and domestic violence.2) He also faced charges of elder abuse in the mistreatment of his now-deceased 87-year-old father.3)

Francisco Vallejo, Seiber-Vallejo’s father, was in prison before the child was born.4)

On August 15, 2006, Riverside Child Protective Services received a call from a pediatrician’s office concerning possible abuse. An investigator was dispatched to the address given for Vallejo-Seiber’s mother. On the following day, a CPS investigator was made contact with Sieber and interviewed her at the Riverside apartment. The investigator submitted the case for closure on August 22, saying the abuse allegations were unfounded.5)

The investigator determined that a bruise on Vallejo-Seiber’s face, that had been reported by his pediatrician, was not the result of abuse. The boy first told his pediatrician, “Mom hit me.” When the doctor asked if he had fallen and hit his eye, Vallejo-Seiber said “I fell.” Sieber told social workers that the child ran into a table or counter when Medoza’s dog came into the house. Later she said she was not at home when the abuse took place.6)

On August 23, 2005, Sieber witnessed Mendoza slapping her son on the back of he head, and broke up with him. She reconciled with Mendoza and returned to his home when he promised to be more affectionate with her son. Sieber left Vallejo-Seiber at Mendoza’s house on at least six occasions, including August 27, 2005.7)

The Attack

Sieber later told investigators that she left her son with Mendoza, whom she’d known for three weeks, because she trouble finding someone to watch him while she worked as a dancer at a local nightclub. On August 27, 2006, she left the child in the care of Mendoza and Mendoza’s roommate, Richard Daniel Cox, 19, who.

On Augut 27, 2006, according to the CPS investigation narrative and trial testimony, Vallejo-Seiber was slapped, kicked, stomped, dropped on his head, burned, punched and sodomized by Mendoza on the night of August 27, 2006.8) He was hung by his arms, and forced to eat dog food and his own excrement.

An autopsy determined that Vallejo-Seiber suffered a lacerated liver and pancreas, a hemorrhaged diaphragm and kidneys, a fractured skull, broken ribs, and burns to his genitals and anus. 9)

Mendoza and Cox then left the injured boy on the floor, and went to a video store where they rented Coach Carter and a video game.10)

On August 28, 2005, Sieber and Mendoza brought Vallejo-Seiber to Riverside Community hospital. The child was not breathing. After he was necessitated, Vallejo-Seiber was transfered to Lorna Linda University Medical Center.11)

Vallejo-Seiber died while in surgery at Lorna Linda University Medical Center.12) Court documents show that he died as a result of a massive blow to the stomach, which lacerated his liver and caused internal bleeding.13)

The Motive

At the preliminary trial for Mendoza and Cox, Sieber said that Mendoza was critical of her parenting, and called her son a “sissy.” Mendoza said he wanted to make a “soldier” of the boy, and at one point urged him to beat up his Elmo doll.14) Mendoza’s defense lawyer said, “He loved the child. He wanted to turn him into a little soldier.15)
The Arrest

Mendoza was arrested on August 28, after he and Sieber brought the child to Riverside Community hospital.16)

Sieber was arrested for endangering her son by leaving him in Mendoza’s care.

During questioning Cox first called Mendoza a “caring person” who was “there for” Vallejo-Seiber. Then he admitted having seen both Mendoza and Sieber disciplining the boy. Later, Cox admitted that “maybe” he disciplined the boy five or six times, including purposely tripping the child once.17)

The Aftermath

Mendoza & the Death Penalty

On April 12 2006 Sieber, Cox and Mendoza entered not guilty pleas regarding the charges against them. Sieber pleaded not guilty to charges of child engangerment in connection with her son’s death. She was released after posting $15,000 bail. Cox was charged with murder, along with Mendoza, and both faced special circumstances of torture, making them eligible for the death penalty.18)

In August 2006, Judge Elisabeth Sichel ruled that there was sufficient evidence to try Mendoza for first degree murder in Vallejo-Seiber’s death.19)

In January 2007, the Riverside district attorney’s office announced that it would seek the death penalty in the case against Mendoza.20)

Mendoza is being held at the Robert Pressley Detention Center since August 28, 2005, the day he and Sieber brought Mikey Vallejo-Seiber to Riverside Community Hospital.21) He is scheduled to appear in Riverside County Superior Court on January 1, 2008.22)

Sieber Trial & Sentencing

On August 14, 2006 – two day after what would have been her son’s fourth birthday, was sentenced to six years in prison for failing to protect her him from Mendoza and Cox. She was four month’s pregnant at the time of her sentencing.23)

Cox: Trial & Sentencing

In February 2007, Judge Robert Spitzer granted a motion that Medoza and Cox be tried separately. At trial in February, Cox’s defense team said he failed to call police to report Mendoza’s abuse and torture of Vallejo-Seiber, and took refuge in his room24), because he was afraid of Mendoza. Forensic pathologist, Dr. Stephen Trinkle, also testified about the injuries he noted on Vallejo-Seiber’s head, face, arm, thigh, penis and anus during his posthumous examination of the victim.25) Trauma to the rectum indicated that Vallejo-Seiber had been sodomized.26)

On March 7, 2007, Cox was sentenced to 25 years to life in state prison for his role in Vallejo-Seiber’s death.27)

In May 2007, the director of Riverside County’s Department of Public Social Services resigned. Cynthia Hinkley’s resignation came after an April 2007 letter from county social workers and union representatives saying that managers ignored suggested improvements in Child Protective Services, thus making Vallejo-Seiber’s death “inevitable.” In the wake of the letter, supervisors ordered a review of the department in response to complaints about the high turnover of social workers and managers.28)

I thought of the little boy in this video, and the response it got.

It’s not “too much Beyonce” any more than it was “too much Diana Ross” when I was growing up, or “too much Lena Horne,” or “too much Dorothy Dandridge,” before my time. It’s not that he doesn’t have a father in the home or a male role model in the home, or that there’s an ineffective male role model in the home. I had my dad at home, and a more traditional male role model I can’t imagine.

The reality is, more than likely the boy can’t help it. I couldn’t. I knew it. And though my parents tried to encourage me towards more acceptably masculine behavior, it didn’t work and it left me more hurt and frustrated than I might have been otherwise. Instead, it reinforced what I was experiencing elsewhere, and the result was that there wasn’t anywhere I was accepted just as I was. Not even at home. I couldn’t count on anyone to be on my side. The loved me, and did the best they could, but what happened happened.

Nothing will break this boy’s spirit more than requiring him to compete in an arena he’ll never be equipped for, judging him by a standard he’ll never measure up to, and then ridiculing him when he inevitably fails. Teach him shame, and he will be ashamed. Teach him that he deserves ridicule and somewhere deep down he’ll accept it.

Love him, and he will love himself. Respect him, and he will respect himself. Appreciate him, and he will appreciate himself. What’s more, teach him that who he is and the gifts he possesses have value, and he will not be convinced otherwise no matter what anyone may say or do to him later. He will know who he is and know that it is good. He will have a foundation. Thus his family will have helped him to stand up to almost anything.

Will he have a hard life? Unfortunately, it’s possible he will. But it will be even harder if he has to go it alone, even when he’s surrounded by his family and community. He’s too young to be abandoned. He’s too young to go it alone, and asking him to do so — to be someone other than who he is, or risk losing support — is asking too much.

Believe it or not, “I love you, now change,” is not unconditional love. However young he is, he’s old enough to know that.

Long story short, I survived. It took a lot of pain and loneliness, and more years after that to heal from it all. Time and energy that might have gone to something else if I’d had support and acceptance from the beginning.

I remember when I was older and we were visiting relatives in southern Georgia, a younger cousin of mine made a show of parading around in his mother’s high heels. He thought it was funny, and got a few laughs, but mingled among those laughs were admonitions to his mother to put a stop to his behavior, up to an including “whipping his ass.” I heard echos in the comments on this video.

It’s not right to judge this child or anyone for that matter but if I was this son’s father I would not be proud or impressed. I’d say he needs some prayer or therapy, whichever you believe in!

…

hahahaaaaaaa yall are right … he is going to be a homo…

…

This lil boy is going to grow up to be a homo. Yall are right he needs a FATHER in his life. To much goddamn time on his hands. And his moms thinks this shit is cute. I would of smaked the piss out the kid and tell him to go put some goddamn 2 Pac.

I thought the LGBT youth who don’t get the vital family support they need and deserve, and who suffer as a result. I thought of two college acquaintances of mine who were rejected by their families and committed suicide. I thought of the countless LGBT youth who are homeless because they were rejected by their families or faced violence and abuse at home because of their orientation or gender identity.

I wondered if Morgan would take his act to Memphis next, in honor of Tiffany Berry, Duanna Johnson, and Ebony Whitaker — three transgender women who met death while “walking in Memphis”.

I wondered if Morgan would find any of these stories funny, after hearing them. His audience certainly did.

All of this being followed by thunderous cheer and “You go Tracys”. Tracy then said he didn’t fucking care if he pissed off some gays, because if they can take a fucking dick up their ass… they can take a fucking joke.

Or at least they got a big kick out of, and affirmed with their laughter, the thoughts and beliefs Morgan’s words reflected, and of which these stories are the all-too-real, and unfunny consequences.

To tell the truth, I was not surprised by Morgan’s rant any more than I was surprised by the same from D.L. Hughley. I’ve heard it all before. You can go into too many black churches and hear the same any day from ministers like Wellington Boone, Willie Wilson, Alfred Owens, Eddie Long, TD Jakes and others. You can go to any beauty parlor, barber shop, bust stop or historically black college and hear the same thing from their congregants. In a sense, Morgan wasn’t any different from the ministers who preached hatred from the pulpit, and the audience members who cheered him on no different from the folks nodding their heads in the pews and saying amen.

After all, the results are the same. And maybe that’s why I’m not in a forgiving mood. I’m sure Tracey Morgan is sorry that someone posted news of his rant to Facebook. I’m sure he’s sorry the days long gone when that kind of news spread slowly if at all. I’m even willing to believe that he’s sorry for his “choice of words,” though I don’t believe it’s possible to choose better words to express what he did. There are no words to make it better, let alone defensible.

And it’s that which suggests to me that Morgan isn’t truly sorry, because his “choice of words” apology shows he doesn’t get it. Tina Fey’s comment about Morgan’s rant was funnier than Morgan has probably been for most of his career.

“30 Rock” creator and star Tina Fey said in a statement that she was disturbed by “the violent imagery” Morgan used, adding that it “doesn’t line up with the Tracy Morgan I know, who is not a hateful man and is generally much too sleepy and self-centered to ever hurt another person.”

“I hope for his sake that Tracy's apology will be accepted as sincere by his gay and lesbian co-workers at ‘30 Rock,’ without whom Tracy would not have lines to say, clothes to wear, sets to stand on, scene partners to act with, or a printed-out paycheck from accounting to put in his pocket,” Fey said.

Whether Morgan knows it or not most of the coworkers Fey mentioned probably know that he was talking about them too. They’ll also know how much he meant it when he apologized for his “choice of words.” Morgan may genuinely feel he was not talking about them, much in the same way some whites have followed up a racist comment by saying to the black acquaintance who existence and presence they may have forgotten, “Oh, I didn’t me you! You’re great! I didn’t mean you. I meant all those other n******. You know what I mean?”

Yeah. We know what you mean. And unless Tracy Morgan does more than apologize for his choice of words — unless he willing to take a hard look at the consequences for the “choice of words” he and so many others make, invests time and energy to do something about it, and does some time on the front lines fighting it — we’ll know what he meant too.

I also considered including the stories in the LGBT Hate Crimes Project, because strongly believed that they should be called hate crimes. I was aware, however, that the question was still a subject of debate. Should these cases, involving suicide, be considered hate crimes?

While in most hate crimes injury of death is the result of one person’s actions against another, suicide seems to involve only one actor. Injury or death results from the choices and actions of the victim himself. From that perspective, suicide is a choice that the victim himself makes. After all, there are other choices. Even in situations when choices very few, they are not completely obliterated.

Even when all of the choices available are bad or painful choices, they’re still choices. Even if the alternative to suicide is to continue living with painful, intolerable circumstances, choosing a miserable existence over suicide is still a choice. On the other hand, most mentally healthy adults have enough perspective to remind themselves that “This too shall pass,” and that painful or miserable situations don’t necessarily last forever.

But I had a problem with leaving it at that, for a couple of reasons.

First, suicide may stem from a number of issues. Some — like mental illness — cannot be attributed to the actions or choices of others, or even to the victim himself. (No one “chooses” to have a mental illness, in my experience.) Yet, in at least some cases the kind psychological and emotion distress that can lead someone to commit suicide can be the result the actions of others toward the individual. Those actions may or may not be intended to push an individual to commit suicide, but they may be — and often are — intended to cause any number of emotional or psychological conditions in the individual targeted — fear, shame, humiliation, depression, hopelessness, isolation, self-hatred, etc. — any and all of which may drive some people towards suicide.

And that’s what bullying is basically; words or actions intended to cause fear, shame, humiliation, hopelessness, isolation, etc. in person or person’s targeted. That pretty much goes for hate crimes too. Both are intended not only to cause the victim distress, but send a message to others like the victim, that the same can be meted out to them at any moment. Both can cause those targeted to live more restricted lives by staying away from certain areas, keeping a lower profile, keeping quiet so as not to invite more harassment by calling attention to themselves, limiting their contact with others, etc. — while those to targeted them for bullying or hate crime go where they please, say what they please, associate with whom they please, etc., as freely as they did before. (After the horrific anti-gay gang attack on three gay men in the Bronx, the New York Times has published a couple of articles that illustrate what it’s like to live with the constant threat of violence and harassment, and how it causes people to lead more restricted lives.)

Even if the decision to ultimately take one’s own life is made and carried out by the victim himself, I don’t think that absolves those whose word or actions caused — and in some cases was intended to cause — the severe psychological and emotional distress that leads to suicide. Even if the suicide victim suffered from mental illness or other difficulties in other areas, the words and actions of others can be what pushes the individual past the breaking point. Not knowing of these conditions doesn’t, in my mind, doesn’t absolve those whose actions and choices aggravated or augmented them. That’s something my parents taught me when they advised me to mind how I acted towards and and spoke to others, “Because you never know what someone might be going through.”

Second, all of the above is is even more important when young people — 18 and under, I mean — are involved. One of the reasons why the “It Gets Better” campaign is so important is because it directly counters what I call the “tunnel vision” of youth. From my experience, when you’re young it’s easy to develop a kind of “tunnel vision” in which you believe how things are right now is how it’s always going to be, and how you feel right not is how you’re always going to feel.

Maybe it’s due to have less experience to draw upon, but it means that young people facing the psychological battery of bullying need to hear exactly that message from adults who have “been there” and made it to the other side. That’s also why adults have a responsibility to address bullying and do whatever they can to put an end to it. The “It Gets Better” campaign is a great response to the “tunnel vision” problem. But far too often, we’re failing young people where bullying is concerned. Perhaps the “It Gets Better” campaign should have a sister campaign titled “It’s Got To Stop.”

Maybe that would have helped someone like Asher Brown.

Asher Brown’s worn-out tennis shoes still sit in the living room of his Cypress-area home while his student progress report — filled with straight A’s — rests on the coffee table.

The eighth-grader killed himself last week. He shot himself in the head after enduring what his mother and stepfather say was constant harassment from four other students at Hamilton Middle School in the Cypress-Fairbanks Independent School District.

Brown, his family said, was “bullied to death” — picked on for his small size, his religion and because he did not wear designer clothes and shoes. Kids also accused him of being gay, some of them performing mock gay acts on him in his physical education class, his mother and stepfather said.

The 13-year-old’s parents said they had complained about the bullying to Hamilton Middle School officials during the past 18 months, but claimed their concerns fell on deaf ears.

David and Amy Truong said they made several visits to the school to complain about the harassment, and Amy Truong said she made numerous phone calls to the school that were never returned.

Brown’s school denies receiving any complaints from his parents about bullying — or any reports form other school employees, students, or parents for that matter. The school did report that Brown’s parents told the school he suffered from PTSD, and asked school counselors to keep an eye on him due to “significant emotional struggle” in the family.

There may have been other issues in play with Brown, but comments from some parents and students support the claim that bullying was not being addressed by the school. Comments by students and parents on at least one news site stat that Brown was bullied for several years and that school officials did nothing to stop it. At a town hall meeting held by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, another student, and friend of Brown’s spoke of his own experience with bullying and the lack of response from school staff.

The contrast between the school’s claims and those of the Truong’s as well as other students and parents can probably be explained by the one parent who spoke up at a school board meeting about bullying at Hamilton.

While that was clearly the majority opinion of those at the meeting, there was a powerful voice of dissent. Parent Roxy Mcdaniel says her Asperger’s challenged son endured bullying at Hamilton for three long and damaging years.

“The bullies are running the halls, the stairwells and the buses. They are everywhere and anywhere the adults aren’t,” said McDaniel.

The Cy-Fair Board took no formal action on the issue.

That bears a haunting resemblance to what Brown’s parents said was an act of bullying that occurred the day before his death.

His most recent humiliation occurred the day before his suicide, when another student tripped Brown as he walked down a flight of stairs at the school, his parents said.

When Brown hit the stairway landing and went to retrieve his book bag, the other student kicked his books everywhere and kicked Brown down the remaining flight of stairs, the Truongs said.

Durham said that incident was investigated, but turned up no witnesses or video footage to corroborate the couple’s claims.

Of course there were no witnesses, video footage or other tangible evidence. If there are video cameras in the school, kids who want to avoid getting caught at something will know where they are, avoid them, and refrain from bullying within camera range. Likewise, it’s unlikely they’ll do it in front of school staff. Any students who witness it might be fearful of reporting it because they know it could happen to them, and they’ve seen little done about it before.

I don’t know everything about Brown, his family life, or his school, but I’ve been a 13 year old gay kid in middle school before, and much of what happened to Asher Brown happened to me. I just wish he’d been able to hold on and until it got better. Most of all, I wish the school — the adults responsible for providing him a safe learning environment — hadn’t let it get so bad in the first place.

Asher Brown was a thirteen-year-old eight grader, who lived in Cypress, TX, with his mother and stepfather Amy and David Truong. On September 23, 2010, Brown committed suicide by shooting himself with his stepfather’s gun. Brown’s parents claimed Brown was driven to suicide by years of bullying.

Background

Brown, 13, was an eighth grade student at Hamilton Middle School in Cypress-Fairbanks Independent School District. 1) David Truong said Brown was an “A” student who loved to read. 2)

Brown was a Buddhist, until shortly before his death. He converted to Christianity in hopes that other students would no longer make fun of his religion. 3)

The day before his suicide, Brown came out to his stepfather. Truong said he did not reject his stepson, and said to him, “We’ll talk about it when you get home. I told him”, “You know your mother and I support you.” 4)

Bullying

Brown’s parents said he was “bullied to death.” The Truong’s claimed that Brown was picked on because of his small stature, his religion, and non-designer clothes and shoes. Students also accused him of being gay, and some performed “mock gay sex acts” on him in his physical education class. 5)

The Truongs said they complained to the school for the past 18 months about their son being bullied, but that their complaints fell on deaf ears. 6) They claimed to have made approximately eight visits and several phone calls to the school but got no response. 7) Initial findings suggest that the Truongs did not contact the school. However, the Truongs had reported that Brown had PTSD, and two weeks before Brown’s death had asked counselors to keep an eye on him due to a “significant emotional struggle within the family,” according to the school district.

School district spokesperson Kelli Durham, whose husband Alan Durham is an assistant principle at Hamilton, said no students or school employees, or Brown’s parents ever reported that he was bullied. 9) However, comments from parents on the KRIV-TV website 10), which reported on Brown’s death, stated that Brown had been bullied for several years, and that the school does nothing to stop such harassment. 11) The school district said it conducted a thorough investigation into the allegations of bullying. 12) The findings of that investigation reiterated the school’s earlier stance, that the Truong’s never reported that Brown was being bullied. 13)

Brown’s parents said the last incident of bullying occurred on Wednesday, September 22; the day before Brown took his life. The Truong’s said another student tripped Brown as he walked down the stairs. When Brown hit the landing and tried to retrieve his books, the other student kicked Brown’s books everywhere and kicked Brown the rest of the way down the stairs. 14)

Suicide

At 4:30 p.m., on Thursday, September 24, 2010, Brown was found dead on the floor of his stepfather’s closet, in the family home. Brown used his father’s 9mm Beretta, which was stored one of the closets shelves, to shoot himself. His stepfather, David Truong, found Brown’s body when he returned home. 15)

Aftermath

Memorial

About 250 people attended a memorial for Brown on Saturday, October 2, 2010. 16) Brown’s family planned for about 30 people to attend the memorial at Moore Elementary School. 17)

The Truong’s used the day to thank their son’s friends. “I want them to get a big round of applause, they stood up for Asher,” said David Truong, Asher’s stepfather. City council member Jolanda Jones attended, and said she knew a young person who committed suicide for the same reason years ago. 18)

A memorial Facebook page set up for Brown received hateful comments. 19)

Community Response

On October 4, 2010, a small group organized by the Foundation for Family and Marriage Equality held a small rally outside of Hamilton Middle school in memory of Brown and to protest bullying. 20) Participants carried signs calling for students to respect one another. The school responded to the rally by canceling after school activities and increasing security officers on campus. 21)

On Monday, October 11, 2010, the Cypress-Fairbanks school board held a meeting to address charges that Hamilton Middle School did not do enough to prevent bullying. Most parents at the meeting spoke in defense of the school. One parent, Roxy McDaniel, said that her son was bullied for three years at Hamilton, and pointed out that bullying usually happens when and where adults are not present. 22)

On Monday, October 18, 2010, Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee held a town hall meeting to address bullying, in response to Brown’s death. 23) Brown’s parents, the Truongs, spoke at the meeting. A friend of Brown’s, Garrett McDaniel, also spoke of his own experience with bullying at Hamilton, and the lack of response from school staff.

Advocacy

Brown’s suicide led advocates to push for safe schools legislation.24) State representatives Garnet Coleman and Jessica Farrar announced their intention to introduce an anti-discrimination bill for Texas public schools. Coleman has introduced the bill every session since 2003, but it gained little traction and was repeatedly killed in committee. 25)

The bill would expressly prohibit discrimination and harassment on the basis of ethnicity, color, gender, gender identity or expression, sexual orientation, disability, religion, or national origin. Schools have the option of adopting such language, though not all have. “By having it in the state law,” Coleman said, “it says to the school district, we think as a state that children dying because of being terrorized at school — this is a serious public health issue.”

“The opposition is from people who believe there is a homosexual agenda,” Coleman said. “This is just about protecting kids.” 26)

Browns death was one of a string of suicides by LGBT youth that led columnist Dan Savage to launch “It Gets Better,” a campaign to prevent LGBT youth suicides.

Investigation

Prosecutors said they would look into what led up to Brown’s suicide. Brown’s parents did not request it investigation but have supported it. “Once they find out what’s been hidden, we would want the people responsible to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law,” said Brown’s stepfather, David Truong. 27)

Donna Hawking, spokeswoman for the Harris County District Attorney’s Office confirmed her office was looking into Brown’s suicide, but declined further comment. Harris County District Attorney Pat Lykos also said her office would investigate what led to Brown’s suicide. In addition, child protective services are investigating whether factors inside or outside the home might have contributed to Brown’s suicide. 28)

One of the reasons I started the LGBT Hate Crimes Project was to because, while researching a post on the Hate Crimes Bill, I noticed several that I was aware of (had read and/or written about) weren’t listed on Wikipedia. I soon found out why they weren’t — and never will be — listed on Wikipedia. The story of Narcisso P. Leggs’ murder is a prime example.

I’ve written before that the victims of hate crimes often disappear in the stories that are published in local — and occasionally national — media. Their stories end, it seems, when their lives end. Except for a paragraph or two, the news stories generated after the crime tend to focus mostly on the perpetrator, the details of the crime, the motive, the testimony, the verdict, etc. In fact, sometimes I’m lucky to find anything of the victim left — even so much as a photograph.

In the case of Narciso Leggs, Jr., I didn’t even find that. The news stories that have long since been archived don’t contain pictures. At least, not in the archives I saw. In the articles that weren’t behind the walls of archives, the only image available was that of his killer, Gregory Michael Pisarcik. What I learned about Narciso Leggs, from all the articles I read, can be summed up in a few bullet points.

• He was 53-years-old.
• He worked for the former Immigration and Naturalization Service (since assimilated into the Department of Homeland Security) for 22 years.
• He lived in a converted garage apartment.
• He owned a white Lincoln Continental and a Rolls Royce.
• He owned at last two guns — a .45 caliber and a .357 magnum.
• He was gay.
• He met Pisarcik at Laguna Beach, and ended up bringing his soon-to-be murderer back to his apartment.

And, of course, I found he details of how he died.

But it bugged me that I couldn’t find a picture of him, while finding so many of his killer, because what I most want to do with the project is first to record the lesser-known, less-publicized crimes that don’t get the coast-to-coast publicity of others, and certainly don’t meet the notability requirements on Wikipedia, and then to put faces on them — to identify them with the victims. I want to make the point that hate crimes are every day things that happen to every day people with every day lives.

And every time I research another story, I’m amazed to find at least one reference to yet another story I haven’t heard before. And I’m off to find out about a life — and too often a death — that probably almost no one had heard of before, that didn’t make headlines, or get news time.

That’s how I learned about the torture and murder of Narciso P. Leggs, Jr.

Narciso P. Leggs Jr.

Narcisso P. Leggs, Jr. (1949 – June 31, 2002), a gay man, was tortured and murdered by Gregory Michael Pisarcik. Pisarcik, according to court documents, was looking for a gay man to rob when he met Leggs. Upon capture, Pisarcik confessed the murder to police and asked not to be put in a cell with another man because he hated “fags.”

The Background

Narciso P. Leggs Jr.

At the time of his murder, Leggs, 53, was retired from the Immigration and Naturalization Service, where he had worked for 22 years.1) He lived in a converted garage apartment in an unincorporated area between Tustin and Santa Ana. Neighbors often saw Leggs polishing his two prized automobiles — a white Lincoln Town Car and a mauve Rolls-Royce.2)

Gregory Michael Pisarcik

Pisarcik was originally from New Jersey. According to court documents, he was raped by a man at the age of 12. He started drinking alcohol and using drugs — including cocaine, heroin, LSD and PCP — soon afterwards.3)

Pisarcik lived in the Huntington Beach area and had many misdemeanor convictions for theft and narcotics violations.4) In 2000 he was sentenced to 60 days in the Ventura County jail5), on charges of grand theft and embezzlement, for the theft of an Ojai businessman’s truck and $3600 in cash in 1999.

The Murder

Leggs and Pisarcik met at Laguna Beach and went back to Leggs’ apartment, stopping to buy vodka along the way.

At Legg’s apartment, Pisarcik grabbed an unopened bottle of champagne and started bashing Leggs’ head. At some point he tied Leggs up. He asked where Leggs kept his money, rummaging the apartment between blows with the champagne bottle.

Pisarcik attempted to strangle Leggs. With a pair of scissors, he cut off both of Leggs’ ears. Pisarcik then stomped on Leggs’ testicles, urinated on him, and shoved a large flashlight deep into Leggs’ rectum.6) Forensic evidence (including blood on the refrigerator) later showed that Pisarcik stopped to eat Leggs’ food, and also took a shower before he left.7)

Finding less than $2, Pisarcik took Leggs’ two guns — a .45-caliber and a .357 magnum — and drove off in Leggs’ white Lincoln Town Car.8) Before leaving, Pisarcik sat on a bed, over Leggs’ corpse, cleaning the guns he would take with him.9)

The Motive

While police said they believed robbery was the motive in Leggs’ murder, they also said that Pisarcik had been involved in the robbery of gay men.10)

In custody, Pisarcik told detectives that he hated homosexuals and admitted he’d gone to Legg’s apartment to rob him. While he was being transported to the Orange County Jail, he told a deputy: “Don’t put me in with the homos. I’m not a homo. That’s why I killed him. I’m not a homo.”11)

The Aftermath

Leggs’ body was found on June 29, 2002, when his landlord called the police after not seeing his tenant for two days.

An autopsy later revealed that Leggs died from blunt-force trauma to the head.12)

Arrest

At 5:45 p.m. on July 2, 2002, Pisarcik was seen driving Leggs white Lincoln. He was seen exchanging license plates with another white Lincoln, by a young girl who immediately notified her father, who in turn notified the vehicle’s owner, who contacted Ventura police.13)

Deputy Robert Davidson spotted Pisarcik in Legg’s white Lincoln at 6:46 p.m. A two-hour chase ensued. Pisarcik led police on a chase across several freeways, firing the handgun out the window. During the chase, Pisarcik drove between 20 and 100 miles per hour, swerving across lanes and into oncoming traffic.

A deputy’s shotgun blast to a tire disabled the car, which had been blocked by pursuing patrol cars. After a 20 minute stand-off, Pisarcik exited the car and peacefully surrendered.14)

Court

On November 18, 2005, a jury convicted Pisarcik of first-degree murder in Leggs’ death. The jury accepted the special circumstance allegations of murder during a robbery and with the penetration of a foreign object, allowing it to be deemed a hate crime.15)

Upon hearing the verdict, Pisarcik was reported to have smiled, nodded, and then chuckled at the jurors.16) Judge Frank F. Fasel sentenced him to life in prison, without parole.17)

In April 2007, the state court of appeals overturned Fasel’s sentencing order, and said the state owed Pisarcik two days for time served in the Orange County jail. The court dismissed claims from Pisarcik that his conviction should be overturned based on “insufficiency of evidence.”Pisarcik’s sentenced of life without parole a was changed to life plus one year and 363 days.18)

This is the finding of a new study by researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles.

They analyzed data from the California Health Interview Survey on more than 2000 people and compared the sexual minorities and associated mental health treatments.

They found that 48% of sexual minorities reported receiving mental health treatment over the last year.
They say that their findings are true because people who are gay are at increased risk of facing discrimination and violence, which can lead to increased stress.

When it comes to hate crimes, if you’re a member of a targeted group, you’re often on guard regarding the potential for violence — especially outside of what you usually consider “safe space.” That adds up to a higher baseline stress level, because (a) you live with the expectation of violence and (b) you never know what will be a catalyst form thar violence.

Carlos Lopez foun out that taking a picture with someone was enough to earn him severe head trauma and major facial reconstructive surgery.

Carlos Lopez

On August 9, 2008, gay teenager Carlos Lopez was attacked and beaten by Fa Junior Moi Moi, at Ensign Peak near Salt Lake City, after Lopez took a picture with Moi Moi and Moi Moi later realized Lopez was gay.

The Background

Lopez, 18, and Moi Moi, 20, were each socializing with friends at Ensign Peak on August 9, 2009. Lopez took a picture of Moi Moi with a group of other people at the part.1)

The Attack

After the picture was taken, Moi Moi asked Lopez if he was gay. When Lopez refused to answer him, Moi Moi became enraged, hitting Lopez several times, and breaking his obrital bone. According to police, several of Moi Moi’s friends took part in the beating.2) Moi Moi also attacked Lucelena Lopz, hitting her while she was on the groung. The victim’s friend who took the picture was also attacked.3)

The Aftermath

The Victim

Lopez suffered severe head trauma4), and required major reconstructive surgery.

Most Wanted

In November 2008, the Salt Lake City Police Department added Moi Moi to its “Most Wanted” list, in an effort to track him down.5) In early November, the police received information that Moi Moi may have fled to Hawaii, where he has family.

Arrest

Moi Moi was arrested in Honolulu, Hawaii, over the weekend of February 6-7.6) Detectives travelled from Utah to Honolulu to extradite Moi Moi.7) Moi Moi was brought back to Utah to face 2 counts of felony aggravated assault, and 1 count of misdemeanor assault.8) If convicted, he faces five years to life in prison and a fine of $10,000 for each count.

There’s a ripple that spreads through a community that’s just experienced a hate crime. For one, people see themselves in the victim, and see their everyday actions reflected in the story of the victim’s activities just prior to being attacked. We say to ourselves “I walk down that street just about every night, on my way home,” or “I love that bar! I go there two or three times a week.” And, seeing how vulnerable the victim was in the same circumstances, we change our routine. We take walk a different route home. We decide not to go to that particular bar tonight.

And if fear can make us do that much, even more fear can lead us to do even more in the name of banishing it or drowning out its warnings. Enough fear can make us wary of gathering or even being near each other, and make us fear raising our voices or making demands; however much we have a right to do so.

When I read about Randolph Hunter’s murder, I set it aside as something I knew I wanted to read later. What struck me about the story was how unremarkable Hunter’s actions had been prior to the attack. At most, he went out to a bar with a friend, and they were attacked when they stepped out of the car, having not even made it to the door.

They were on their way to Be Bar, in Washington’s Shaw neighborhood. The bar itself was met with hostility before it even opened, as a hearing on granting the bar’s liquor license showed. Attendees in an unusually packed room objected to the location of the bar, and it’s proximity to a church that also housed a day-care center. “Don’t they understand that there is a day-care center in the church?”, on parishioner exclaimed, who probably didn’t know that the busiest hours of the bar wouldn’t even start until long after the kids were picked up. (Of course her assumption was probably they kids were be in danger of sexual molestation.) The D.C. Black Church Initiative objected to the bar, not on legal grounds, but on the grounds that it would “undermine the moral character” of the neighborhood.

But the controversy was really more about the changes that were taking place in Shaw and surrounding neighborhoods.

In addition to new gay homeowners, gay-owned businesses have cropped up in Shaw over the past few years. They include D.C. Guesthouse, a bed and breakfast; Fairies’ Crossing, a landscaping business; Interiority Complex, a window treatment store; a set design business and a web design business.

Gay-owned businesses with plans to open this year include Be Bar and a new art gallery, Longview Gallery.

An ongoing conflict between one Shaw church, scripture Cathedral, and the planned Be Bar over the bar’s liquor license has exposed anti-gay bias on the part of scripture Cathedral, said Padro, who also serves as an Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner for 2C, which includes Shaw.

“This is the first time the community has had to deal with flagrant bigotry of this type,” said Padro, who is gay. “Unfortunately, these churches are pretty much the definition of bad neighbors. There have only been a handful of times that the issues of gay businesses and gay residents being a part of the community have come up [in Shaw], but unfortunately when they have come up, they have not been the most positive experiences.”

Bishop C.L. Long, pastor at scripture Cathedral, has said in church sermons that homosexuality is a biblical curse. Rev. Anthony Evans, president of the D.C. Black Church Initiative, joined in the Be Bar’s license protest, saying he opposes the “homosexual lifestyle.” The liquor licensing board dismissed those protests this week.

Despite the flap, several of Shaw’s gay residents said they have found the neighborhood to be very gay-friendly.

(It’s worth noting that, despite the above, Hunter was an African American gay man in a still predominantly African American neighborhood.)

When we walk through our communities we walk through their histories, both ancient and recent, and track a bit if their unsettled dust back into the present.

That was at least partly true of Hunter’s own unfinished walk from his car to the door of BeBar. Perhaps even more. Though Hunter’s friends and member of the community say that Hunter didn’t make and/or wouldn’t have made the sexual advances that his killer said sparked the attack, in truth it may not have taken more than a few words to spark an attack. Kevin Aviance was brutally beaten for something he’d said to his attackers, as was Dwan Prince.

Hunter’s killer alleged that Hunter had said to him, “Oh, hey. I know you,” and grabbed his buttocks. Leaving aside the alleged groping, Hunter’s words may have been enough to spark an attack from someone who is insecure and secretive about his sexuality, and afraid that his friends will wonder just why this “faggot” knows him and how.

It’s a walk I’ve taken myself. Even before the O Street bars vanished from D.C.’s southwest quadrant, to make way for a baseball stadium, I missed them. For at least a couple of years Zigfield’s was a regular haunt of mine, thanks to friends who took me there one night. I spent many a night drinking diet coke and watching some fabulous drag performances. (In fact, I spent more time there than I did tipping the male dancers in the other half of the bar.)

Getting to Zigfield’s or any of the other bars was something of an adventure, since parking was scarce to the point of being non-existent. One usually had to park a ways off, and walk a couple of poorly lit blocks to get the to the club’s door. I always looked over my shoulder, out of reflex, because it looked just like a place where someone might get bashed. And if I saw someone I knew, or had known in that sense of the word, I might not always speak especially if I saw any sign that the might not want it known.

How easily could one end up getting bashed in that scenario?

I hope never to find out. Researching and writing up what happened to Tony Randolph Hunter, is close enough.

Tony Randolph Hunter, a 37-year old an African American gay man, from Clinton, MD, died on September 10, 2008, from injuries sustained during an attack by four men. One of the men Robert Hanna later told police he acted in “self-defense” after Hunter allegedly made sexual advances.

The Background

Hours before the attack that would cause his death, Hunter attended a gospel concert on the National Mall, with friend Dana Fonville. His Friends described him as a warm, caring person who considered his Christian faith to be an important part of his life.1)

On September 7, Hunter and friend Trevor Carter, 23, were on their way to meet friends at BeBar — a bar in Washington, DC’s Shaw neighborhood, which caters to a mostly gay clientele. Hunter’s friend, Lamont Joy, said they never arrived.2)

The Attack

The attack took place at about 11:30 p.m. on September 7. Police said a group of four black males approximately ages 19 to 22, wearing jeans and t-shirts,3) jumped Hunter and Carter seconds after they stepped out of their car.4)

At least one assailant said, “What’s up?” before the group began swinging at them, and Hunter was knocked to the ground.5) The four men confronted Hunter and Carter, punching each of them in the face. Carter managed to get away, thinking Hunter was behind him. But Hunter had been knocked unconscious.6)

The suspects stole a set of car keys and $15, before fleeing in unknown directions.7) Police responding to a report of an unconscious person, arrived the scene to find Hunter unconscious and suffering severe head trauma.8) Police near the scene saw the attackers fleeing from about one block away.9)

The Motive

According to ANC commissioner Alexander Pardo, people close to the investigation said the suspect confessed to killing Hunter, but claimed he acted in self-defense when Hunter made sexual advances toward him. Brett Parsons, director of the police department’s Special Liaison Units, including the Gay & Lesbian Liaison Unit, said the initial report categorized the attack as a hate crime because of its proximity to BeBar. Investigators later withdrew the hate crime classification, after determining that there was insufficient evidence of anti-gay bias, and that the motive for the crime seemed to be robbery.10)

In an interview on September 22, after his arrest, Hanna would tell the police that the attack occurred just after Hunter said to him, “Oh, I know you.” According to the affidavit, Hannah said Hunter “grabbed his buttocks and then touched his testicles.” Hannah said he punched Hunter two or three times on his neck, in an area near his chin. He said Hunter fell back on to a fence after being struck, then pushed himself off the fenced, and then said something unintelligible, but that sounded like he was trying to apologize.

Hannah said he heard Hunter’s head hit the ground about five seconds after he punched him, and that he did not see anyone else punch Hunter before he fell to the ground.11)

The Aftermath

Carter suffered a bruise to his jaw, was treated at a local hospital and released. Hunter suffered a laceration to the back of the head. He was placed on life support at Howard University, and his condition was described as guarded. Family friend, Joy, told the Washington Blade that Hunter’s family was then informed that he was not breathing on his own.12)

Hunter died on September 17, 10 days after the attack.13)

Community Response

On September 28, about 200 people took part in a candlelight march and vigil in honor of Hunter. D.C. city council members Jack Evans, Carol Schwartz and Kwame Brown joined the march and vigil, which began at the Metropolitan Community church at 5th and Ridge Streets. Participants walked about five block through the heart of D.C.’s Shaw neighborhood to the site of the attack at 8th and N Streets NW.attack.14)

Arrest

In late September 2008, police announced that they were close to an arrest in Hunter’s murder.15) In October 2008, police identified Hanna, 18, as a person of interest in connection with Hunter’s beating and death. On October 15, 2008, Hanna was arrested for Hunter’s murder.16)

Plea, Sentencing & Protest

On July 16, 2009, Hanna pleaded guilty to a lesser misdemeanor charge.17) The charge carries a maximum sentence of 180 days in jail. Members of the community, including Gays and Lesbians Opposing Violence (GLOV), criticized the plea and sentencing as a ‘miscarriage of justice.’18) GLOV co-chairs Chris Farris and Todd Metrokin criticized the United States Attorney’s Office for the District of Columbia for accepting Hanna’s claim that Hunter made sexual advances to him that brought on the attack.19)

The point I tried to make in the series was that opponents of legal abortion have not offered these women any alternative, except one. The other point I wanted to make was one that I remembered from a previous post that actually inspired the series posted this week.

Talk is cheap, and easy. So is telling people where they should be than meeting them where they are. So is taking away the choices of some families, rather than looking at the realities of all families and changing in order to help all families, whatever their circumstances. It’s easier, and simpler, to see that help as “rewarding” them for “immoral” choices, rather than choosing to help all families in order to help – and heal – our whole society. It’s easier not to see helping “them” as helping us, because it doesn’t require us to change.

That’s the intentional choice we’re making. Still.

Anyway, after writing the series, I wanted repost the piece that inspired it. So here it is.

On the heels of the Supreme Court’s decision on late-term abortions, David Kuo — a devout Christian who’s against legal abortion — posted a link to this moving story of how one family chose to deal with the news that their fetus had a genetic syndrome that causes numerous physical deformities, and is almost always fatal. With the support of family, church and community, they made the choice to carry the pregnancy to term. Their baby died 35 minutes after delivery.

It’s a touching story, and the family’s choices were clearly grounded to some degree in their religious beliefs. I respect that. They made the choice they thought was best for their family, and it wasn’t an easy choice to make. I’ve never been in their situation, and I’ll never be pregnant so I can’t know what it’s like to face that kind of news, or stand by a spouse facing that reality. However, as I listened to the Weatherford’s story, I couldn’t help thinking there’s another side that should be remembered as well.

Technorati Tags: choice, courts, feminism, politics, religion, supreme court

While reading the Weatherford’s story, I immediately thought of another story I blogged about last year, about another family’s heart-wrenching choice. I’m quoting it here at length, because I don’t want it to be missed.

In November, when I was 22 weeks pregnant, we received news that would forever change our lives. A sonogram at the perinatologist’s office revealed that our son, Thomas, had a condition known as arthrogryposis. The doctor’s face spoke volumes when he returned from fetching a medical book to confirm the rare diagnosis. He explained that arthrogryposis was a condition that causes permanent flexation of the muscle tissue. The condition could be caused by over 200 different diseases and syndromes, with a wide array of severity.

He asked for permission to do an immediate amniocentesis, and for the first time he used the word “termination. It was then that I first realized the gravity of our situation.

My husband and I were shocked and struggled to comprehend what we were being told.. It would take two weeks to receive the results of the amniocentesis, which might reveal the cause of the arthrogryposis, but we already knew that the prognosis was not good.

The ultrasound showed that Thomas had clubbed hands and feet. His legs were fixed in a bent position and his arms were permanently flexed straight. He had a cleft palate and swelling on his skull – a condition that would likely kill him in and of itself. Due to his inability to move, Thomas’s muscles had deteriorated to 25% or their usual size, and his bones to 25% of their usual density.

My husband and I were sent home to grapple with the news and face an unwelcome decision: whether or not to continue with the pregnancy.

… By the time the amnio results came back, we had two days left to make a decision before hitting the 24 week mark – after which, no doctor in Texas would terminate a pregnancy. The results were devastating. Our son had no chromosomal disorder. There was no explanation at all for his condition, and as such, no way to predict the scope of his suffering. We would have to make our decision based strictly on what the ultrasound had revealed.

My husband and I decided that we would have to use the golden rule. We would do for Thomas what we would want done for us in the same situation.

We tried to look at the evidence as honestly as we could. Even the best case scenario was abominable.. Thomas would lead a very short life of only a few years at the very most. During those years he would be in constant pain from the ceaseless, charley-horse-type cramps that would rack his body. He would undergo numerous, largely ineffective surgeries, just to stay alive. He would never be able to walk or stand; never grasp anything, never be able to hold himself upright. He wouldn’t even be able to suck his own thumb for comfort. And this was only if we were lucky. The more likely scenarios tended toward fetal death and serious health complications for me.

We made our decision with one day to go and left for Houston where we would end Thomas’s suffering in one quick and painless moment. Though we wanted to stay at home, _______ was no longer an option, as all of the hospitals were religiously-backed and there was no time to convene an ethics committee hearing.

In Houston, God graced us with some of the most compassionate people we’d ever met. The first was our maternal-fetal medicine specialist, who confirmed that the prognosis was even direr than originally thought. In a procedure very similar to an amniocentesis, Thomas’s heart was stopped with a simple injection. In that moment, as I held my husband’s hand, I met God and handed him my precious boy to care for, for all eternity.

Over the next 17 hours I labored to deliver Thomas’s body. It was a painful experience, but the only option given to a woman at 24 weeks gestation. Thomas Stephen _______ was born into this world just after 6:00 a.m. on November 27, 2002 – the day before Thanksgiving.

The loving nurse who’d helped us through labor cleaned his fragile body and brought him to us. We held our boy for the next hour as we said goodbye. Our own eyes confirmed what our hearts had already come to know: that Thomas was not meant for this world. The hospital’s pastor joined us and we christened Thomas in the baptism bonnet I’d worn as an infant.

Thomas’s life and death have changed our lives in ways we will never fully comprehend I know he made me a better mother, a better friend, and a less judgmental, more compassionate human being. I know he is the reason I have the courage to stand in front of you today.

Through him, I’ve grown closer to God, who understands what it is to sacrifice your only begotten son in the name of mercy.

During the summer and fall that followed Thomas’s death, my husband and I lost two more children during first trimester miscarriages. We lost three children within the space of one year. On January 17th of this year, our prayers were finally answered with the birth of our daughter, Hannah. If anyone knows about the value and sanctity of life, I assure you, it is us.

Booman linked to another woman’s story of her difficult choice.

Later that morning, at quarter past 9, Dave held my hand as I lay on the cushy examining table at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center office in Lexington. As images of our baby filled the black screen, we oohed and aahed like the goofy expectant parents that we were. “Can you tell if it’s a boy or a girl?” I must have asked a million stupid times. The technician was noncommittal, stoic, and I started feeling uncomfortable. Where I was all bubbly chitchat, she was all furrow-browed concentration. She told us that she had a child with Down syndrome, and that none of her prenatal tests had picked it up. I thought that was odd.

Then, using an excuse about finishing something on her previous ultrasound, she left the room. Seconds passed into minutes while we waited for her to return. Staring at the pictures of fuzzy kittens and kissing dolphins on the ceiling, I knew something was wrong. Dave tried to reassure me, but when the ultrasound technician told us that our doctor wanted to see us, I started to shake. “But she doesn’t even know we’re here,” I said to her, and then to Dave, over and over. That’s when I started crying. I could barely get my clothes back on.

The waiting room upstairs, usually full of happy pregnant women devouring parenting magazines, was empty. Our doctor, who usually wears a smile below her chestnut hair, met us at the front desk. She was not smiling that day as she led us back to her cramped office, full of framed photos of her own children.

As we sat there, she said that the ultrasound indicated that the fetus had an open neural tube defect, meaning that the spinal column had not closed properly. It was a term I remembered skipping right over in my pregnancy book, along with all the other fetal anomalies and birth defects that I thought referred to other people’s babies, not mine. She couldn’t tell us much more. We would have to go to the main hospital in Boston, which had a more high-tech machine and a more highly trained technician. She tried to be hopeful — there was a wide range of severity with these defects, she said. And then she left us to cry.

It’s important to hear these women, these families, because the Supreme Court decision effectively says to these families “you no longer have a choice.” It says to them, “you must make the same decision” as the Weatherford family did, no matter what they’re circumstances might be.

As I listened to Jessica Weatherford tell her story, one particular phrase she used stuck in my mind, that “intentionally choosing” to carry her pregnancy to term was how she believed she could be the best mother to her baby for as long as she had him. But the families in the two stories above made different choices, which they also believed were the best they could make for their families; for their children. But the Supreme Court has effectively said they may no longer intentionally choose what they believe is best for their families.

Jessica Weatherford said she believed that her son came into the world to teach her and her husband “lessons of parenting and love that we would never have learned any other ways.” And, again, I have nothing but respect for her belief. But those were lessons that she and her husband “intentionally chose” and understood within the context of their beliefs. Why should families like the ones in the two stories above not have the right to make choices for their own families in accord with their beliefs? Why must their choices and beliefs not be respected?

It’s a part of pattern of narrowing choices and not respecting choices people make based on beliefs that fall outside of a very narrow set, a patter that Amanda lays out very effectively in her “Take My Uterus” post. It’s the same pattern of narrowing choices for women that I think includes opposition to the gender equality implied in marriage equality. It’s part of a pattern of intentionally choosing to prohibit families from intentionally choosing what they believe is best for their families. It’s a pattern that the woman in the first of the two stories above spoke out against to her state legislature.

I am here today in my son’s honor to tell you that life doesn’t always follow an easy path. And that life is almost never a black and white issue to be governed by others. I am here to put a face on the issue of abortion for all the families that cannot be here today. And I am here to beg you to remember me and Thomas each and every time you contemplate legislation that would deteriorate our God-given parental rights to do what is moral and just for our children.

It’s part of a pattern of intentionally choosing to ignore a whole host of issues. Or, as Jesse Lava puts it, intentionally choosing to miss the point.

After all, banning a single procedure doesn’t keep doctors from using other ones. It doesn’t encourage women to carry their pregnancies to term or, better yet, to avoid unwanted pregnancies in the first place. Simply, it does not protect life, born or unborn.

Strange, then, that the religious right has toiled for over a decade to pass this ban. There are bills in Congress right now that would vastly reduce the abortion rate in ways that most Americans can get behind.

Pro-choice Democrat Rosa DeLauro has teamed up with pro-life Democrat Tim Ryan in the House of Representatives to introduce the “Reducing the Need for Abortion and Supporting Parents Act.” This bill would make contraception more accessible and provide healthcare and other services to women as they enter parenthood.

Pro-life Democrat Lincoln Davis has also proposed a measure to reduce the abortion rate, and Democrats for Life has been pushing the 95-10 initiative, which aims to cut the abortion rate by 95 percent over 10 years.

Take your pick; all of these measures would help protect life and unite Americans on the most divisive issue of our age. All of these measures would reflect the values of the 66 percent of Americans and 61 percent of white evangelicals who want the country to find a middle ground on abortion. None of these measures, however, is politically useful to Republicans or the religious right. Maybe that’s why the anti-abortion crusaders haven’t lifted a finger to get these bills passed.

There’s a lesson to be learned here: just because a party calls itself pro-life doesn’t make it pro-life. Republicans talk a big game on abortion, but Democrats – many of them, anyway – are rolling up their sleeves and doing the hard work of finding practical solutions to a national problem.

It’s part of a pattern of intentionally choosing to ignore issues like the female face of poverty, and choosing not to implement programs and services that might make it easier for families, and thus reduce abortions.

Already in 1995 the UN Human Development Report estimated that the economic value of the unpaid work of women worldwide is a whopping 11 trillion dollars per year. A 2004 Swiss government survey placed the value of the unpaid work in households at 70 percent of the reported Swiss GDP. And according to salary.com, a U.S. organization, the caring work of a mother is worth over $100,000 per year.

Recognizing the value of caring and caregiving is the first step. The next, essential step, is changing business practices and government policies to recognize and reward this work in ways that put food on the table and a roof over people’s heads. We need family-friendly business policies such as good paid parental leave and government policies such as caregiver tax credits and, for poor mothers, caregiver stipends and other forms of parenting assistance.

The Canadians are already doing this: their Healthy Babies, Healthy Children program offers assistance to mothers. And it’s a tremendous economic investment in the bargain. Assessments of the program show that children are gaining in health and skill levels due to this assistance — in other words, that in economic terms, the program is an excellent investment in high quality human capital.

Sweden has a paid parental leave policy that makes it possible for both mothers and fathers to be home with their new babies for many months. By contrast, the only U.S. state that has even a very modest paid parental leave policy is California. But it’s a start — and Mom’s Rising has launched a campaign to bring similar bills to other states, starting in the state of Washington.

But it’s almost guaranteed that such measure, if proposed in this country, would face fierce opposition, and most likely from the people who make the most noise about being “pro-family.”

Talk is cheap, and easy. So is telling people where they should be than meeting them where they are. So is taking away the choices of some families, rather than looking at the realities of all families and changing in order to help all families, whatever their circumstances. It’s easier, and simpler, to see that help as “rewarding” them for “immoral” choices, rather than choosing to help all families in order to help — and heal — our whole society. It’s easier not to see helping “them” as helping us, because it doesn’t require us to change.

That’s the intentional choice we’re making. Still.

There’s no way I know of to come up with exact numbers, but many of the women who sought Dr. Tiller’s services, and who seek late-term abortion in general, seem to be women who very much want to be pregnant, but found out well into their pregnancies that there were severe complications, as Dr. Tiller himself pointed out in a 1991 interview.

In September 1991, after the protests ended, Tiller granted a rare interview, saying he was tired of the rumors circulating about his practice. He said that contrary to the contentions of abortion protesters, he did not perform elective abortions up to birth.

He opened a desk drawer and pulled out a three-ring notebook.

“These are the things we do,” he said, pointing to color snapshots of aborted fetuses. “Hydrocephalus, spina bifida, fused legs, open spine, lethal chromosome abnormality. Nature makes mistakes.”

He flipped the page. “This is the brain coming out of the back of the head. This is a baby that’s allergic to itself. Look at this. There’s all water; no brain whatsoever. The skull’s just completely collapsed. This is a foot coming off the hip. You tell me that if you had one of these, you wouldn’t be devastated.”

Such news would be devastating families, but to a greater degree for some than others, because families differ in their beliefs about such circumstances and what resources — both material and inner resources — they have available
to cope with them. The assumption that every family would or should make the same choices ignores the reality that these decisions are deeply personal, made with great consideration, and based on family’s values. None of them are made lightly, especially at the later stage of pregnancy.

Judith Warner, who shared the story of the nine-year-old rape/incest victim, shares of some of the stories of women who sought Dr. Tiller’s services, along with their anguish, their reasons, and their experience.

One New York mother wrote of having been referred by an obstetrician to Tiller after learning, in her 27th week of pregnancy, that her soon-to-be son was “so very sick” that, once born, he’d have nothing more than “a brief life of respirators, dialysis, surgeries and pain.” In-state doctors refused to perform an abortion.

“The day I drove up to the clinic in Wichita, Kansas, to undergo the procedure that would end the life of my precious son, I also walked into the nightmare of abortion politics. In this world, reality rarely gets through the rhetoric,” wrote another mother, from Texas, of the shouts, graphic posters and protesters’ video camera that greeted her when she came to see Tiller.

This woman apparently arrived during the “Summer of Mercy,” and was probably greeted by scenes like these.

As activist Julie Burke pointed out, because Dr. Tiller was one of only a few doctors in the entire country. Thus many women flew to Kansas, because there were/are so few late-term options for women whose pregnancies have taken a devastating turn. The protestors certainly diligent about making sure these women saw their photographs of fetuses and yelling their slogans and accusations.

But what alternative did they offer these women and their families? What window were they willing to open. When they succeeded in shutting down a clinic, and presumably women who had appointments for procedures that they couldn’t get anywhere else were turned away, did these activists unchain themselves from clinic doors long enough

Mercy for these women and their families was in very short supply.

In 1991 and until his murder, Dr. Tiller was one of the few doctors in this country who performed late-term abortions. Despite what Operation Rescue claimed, none of his clients were ending pregnancies on a whim. None of them wanted to be there.

Each case was a tragedy — a much anticipated child discovered to have only a partially formed head, a baby that was dying in the womb and had to be delivered, a child with medical problems so profound as to be unimaginable, a diagnosis that meant a child’s life outside its mother’s body would be both brief and brutal.

Tiller’s clients often included couples who had been hoping to become parents but had their hearts broken late in pregnancy when they received horrifying medical news about their much-wanted babies.

These people got no mercy from Operation Rescue.

They were hounded and harassed, shoved and shouted at on the most heart-breaking day of their lives. In order for patients to make it to their appointments, clinic supporters had to coordinate each woman’s arrival with walkie-talkies. They shielded the patient by forming a flying wedge of bodies that rushed through the crowd to escort her into the building.

I watched one woman sobbing as she and her husband were helped into the clinic. Her tears went unnoticed by the hundreds of protestors surrounding her who shrieked and wailed and tried to trip the people escorting her to the door.

I was in college by the time the “Summer of Mercy” happened, and I volunteered for clinic defense. (I wanted to serve as an escort, but they had more than enough. So I helped keep the clinic doors from being blocked or chained-up, etc.) By then, I’d known women who’d faced this decision, and I couldn’t imagine them facing these people in the middle of an already heart-rending situation. I knew if they did, I’d want someone to be there to make sure they were safe and not turned away. So, I decided to be one of those someones.

We didn’t have nearly the number of protestors that Wichita got, but the few women who came to the clinic that day were as glad to see us as they were upset to see the protestors. We shielded them to the degree possible, and made sure they got safely through the door.

I didn’t know their individual stories, but I guess they were like many of the women whose abortions are among the 1.1% that happen after nine weeks. Some were probably facing the kind of circumstances described by a medical student who — despite an anti-choice upbringing — will likely provide abortion services.

As I continue my education, my views on abortion are still evolving. Take late-term abortions. When I first heard about them, I was horrified. I remember the flyer I saw at a pro-life event that described the procedure: It claimed that when the baby’s head emerges, the doctor jabs a pair of scissors into the back of its neck, severing the spinal cord. Even after I became pro-choice, this crossed a line for me. But later, I learned that this description was misleading and graphically politicized.

It wasn’t until I spent time in ultrasound rooms during a research job in graduate school that I began to see late-trimester abortions in a very different light. In one case, the patient’s baby had just been diagnosed with a lethal congenital anomaly. The high likelihood was that it wouldn’t survive after birth for more than a few minutes. As long as the baby remained in her mother’s womb, however, she would live. I asked the physician what this woman’s options were. The answer was, not many. She could choose to continue the pregnancy, but then she might be waiting for almost 20 more weeks to give birth to a baby that would never take more than a few breaths on its own. She was past the point where she could legally terminate the pregnancy in Alabama. If she could get an appointment in Atlanta within the next week, she might be able to have the procedure there. Beyond that, there were only a few physicians in the nation who would perform an abortion in such a case.

I could hardly wrap my mind around the agony that this woman and her husband must have been facing. They needed a caring and compassionate physician to help them through this dark moment, and if they chose not to continue the pregnancy, they also needed a physician who was both skilled enough and brave enough to provide them with the care they needed. They needed Dr. Tiller.

They may have needed Dr. Tiller, but they won’t find him now. That option has been taken away. But for some families, Dr. Tiller was there when they needed him — and when almost no one else had the courage to be.

He was there for a family whose unborn daughter had severe genetic abnormalities.

I was almost 26 weeks. I showed up for my ultrasound by myself. I was scanned for almost 2 hours. This is when my life forever changed. The scan showed that her little brain was severely calcified, parts were not symmetrical and there was fluid. The doctor took me into a room to talk to me. I told her “please just tell me the truth I need to know.” The Doctor said that she had no idea what this meant but that she felt something was terribly wrong. Within two weeks her brain had gone from “normal” to massive problems. I was sent up to Genetics. The counselor told me that the genetic doctor wanted to talk to me. I requested that they wait until my husband got there. The conversation with this doctor was the same, she felt that something was terribly wrong, but they had no idea what it was. “This looks like the tip of the iceberg” we were told.

…Friday we had to go and talk with some perinatologists. They told us that they had never seen this before and that they could not tell us what the outcome would be. We did not even get a percentage of what her life would be like. They told us that she possibly could die in utero, die shortly after birth, or be a vegetable. They told us that we could wait another two weeks and have another scan and possibly an MRI. How could I go on another day? It killed me to feel her move around inside. This was so awful.

We had another appointment with the doctor that performed the terminations. We were told that with my conditions and the lateness of the pregnancy he did not feel he could give me the care that I required. That’s when we were referred to the Women’s Clinic in Wichita, Kansas.

I was 27 weeks by this point. I was terrified. The moment I met the doctor, all of that ended. He was a wonderful and loving man. I came in on Monday and gave birth to our baby girl on Friday. We were able to hold her after, and say our goodbyes. That doctor will always be in my heart.

Thanks to Scott Roeder, Dr. Tiller won’t be there for the next family like this one. If the opponents of legal abortion have their way, families like this one won’t have anywhere else to turn, except the delivery room several more weeks after learning the sad news.

Dr. Tiller was there for another woman whose child’s brittle bones would have meant a short and painful life.

When Susan Fitzgerald went in for a routine ultrasound near the end of her pregnancy, she was expecting good news. Instead, she was stunned to learn that the fetus had a rare condition that left his bones so brittle he would live less than a day.

“It was unbelievable,” Fitzgerald said. “You think by the third trimester you’re home free. It was devastating.”

Desperate to end the pregnancy, she flew from her home in New England to Wichita, where George Tiller was one of the few doctors in the country willing to perform an abortion so late in a pregnancy.

“It was very difficult, but I knew it was the most humane ßthing I could do for my baby,” Fitzgerald said. “It was absolutely the right thing to do. I’m just so grateful that Dr. Tiller was there for me.”

Her story is one of dozens that have surfaced in the past week during candlelight vigils, at memorials and on blog postings since the shooting death of Tiller. An antiabortion activist has been charged in his slaying.

Thanks to Scott Roeder, Dr. Tiller won’t be there for the next family who wants to spare their child a short life mostly filled with pain — which can be seen as an act of conscience. If the opponents of legal abortion have their way, families like this one won’t have any other option except a painful delivery (that would likely break bones in the process) and watching their child suffer.

As one choice activist said, many of the women who sought Dr. Tiller’s help has “no good choices” before them.

“What made Dr. Tiller unusual was that he specialized in seeing women who found out late in very wanted pregnancies that they were carrying fetuses with anomalies that were incompatible with life,” Saporta said. “For them, there was really no good choice. They needed to terminate their pregnancies to protect their own health, and he provided both the emotional and physical care for women in that situation.”

Abortion opponents condemn the procedures, regardless of the circumstances.

Even prior to Dr. Tiller’s murder, the threat of violence (made real by the the history of violence against abortion providers and even their staff) served to narrow the options available to women whose pregnancies took devastating turns in the late-term. As one Texas women who traveled to Dr. Tiller’s clinic wrote, it can mean there’s not a doctor in a state as big as Texas who can help her or is willing to help her if it means the possibility of publicity, protests, violence, and even death.

Another woman wrote about how few options Maryland — my own state — offered.

When they told us what kind of life our baby girl had in store for her it was like a bad dream. She would most likely not survive natural labor and would have to be delivered via C-section at John Hopkins. She would be blue from lack of oxygen and would have had to be immediately hooked to life support. She would have required a minimum of three surgeries to even enable her to take her first breath. After the surgeries her lungs would have still only been at a quarter of normal capacity and she would have been brain damaged from the lack of oxygen.

They were not sure how long she would live after the surgeries. One week, one year or five years. The only thing that was certain is that she would have had a very short life that would have been spent in and out of hospitals. I did not want to put my Emilee through the torture of surgeries, constant hospital visits and (if she made it long enough to walk) to watch her sister run and play from the window because that is something she would never be able to do. I also could not put my other daughter, Kacey, through being constantly thought of second because we had a child fighting for her life only to have her taken away at a young age. So we did what we thought was the only way our baby would be at peace. We decided not to proceed with the pregnancy. I was 24 weeks when I was seen at John Hopkins.

This is when I felt that my state turned its back on my family and me. Maryland does not allow any late-term terminations for poor prenatal diagnosis. My high-risk doctor tried to have it brought before the ethics committee at John Hopkins but because this was not genetic, just a fluke of nature, they would not even consider it.

I had to fly to Kansas to have the procedure done. It was a five-day out patient procedure that cost us almost $9,000 after all was said and done. I am hurt and angry at the state of Maryland for taking away my right to allow my daughter to die in peace. I loved and wanted my baby very much. I loved her so much that I would rather her go back to God than suffer for even one day. I was appalled that Maryland did not have a quality-of-life addendum to the late-term termination law.

It can be make doctors reluctant to tell women the truth about their pregnancies, because of the unavailability of resources, and the threat of violence, as one doctor pointed out.

Many are performed in cases such as Fitzgerald’s, where a major abnormality in the fetus is discovered late, Saporta and others said.

“The latest patient was a case where the fetus had no brain at all, would never take a breath on its own. That was probably just a few weeks before delivery,” said LeRoy Carhart, a Bellevue, Neb., doctor who worked with Tiller, in an interview this week. “Her doctor knew the problem all along but just never told her.”

Another woman, who didn’t have access to Dr. Tiller’s clinic, found her options severely narrowed when, late into her pregnancy, her fetus died inside of her

I could see my baby’s amazing and perfect spine, a precise, pebbled curl of vertebrae. His little round skull. The curve of his nose. I could even see his small leg floating slowly through my uterus.

My doctor came in a moment later, slid the ultrasound sensor around my growing, round belly and put her hand on my shoulder. “It’s not alive,” she said.

She turned her back to me and started taking notes. I looked at the wall, breathing deeply, trying not to cry.

I can make it through this, I thought. I can handle this.

I didn’t know I was about to become a pariah.

As it turns out, even in her predicament — when there is no longer life in her womb — cannot find a doctor or a facility willing to remove a dead body from her womb, even though it is something utterly legal.

So much of her account is so compelling that to quote all the parts I’d like to would mean reprinting the article. But she did indeed become a pariah.

Her doctor told her that Dilation & Extraction (D&E) was all but unavailable in her community.

My doctor turned around and faced me. She told me that because dilation and evacuation is rarely offered in my community, I could opt instead to chemically induce labor over several days and then deliver the little body at my local maternity ward. “It’s up to you,” she said.

I’d been through labor and delivery three times before, with great joy as well as pain, and the notion of going through that profound experience only to deliver a dead fetus (whose skin was already starting to slough off, whose skull might be collapsing) was horrifying.

I also did some research, spoke with friends who were obstetricians and gynecologists, and quickly learned this: Study after study shows D&Es are safer than labor and delivery. Women who had D&Es were far less likely to have bleeding requiring transfusion, infection requiring intravenous antibiotics, organ injuries requiring additional surgery or cervical laceration requiring repair and hospital readmission.

A review of 300 second- trimester abortions published in 2002 in the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology found that 29 percent of women who went through labor and delivery had complications, compared with just 4 percent of those who had D&Es.

The only local option was to induce labor over several days; a longer, more painful procedure.

In a labor induction, the doctor administers a feticidal agent, and the patient delivers the fetus down the birth canal. This procedure is longer, more painful, and far more emotionally taxing than a normal delivery, and it gets worse as the pregnancy progresses. While most hospitals can perform the procedure, many referred their late-term patients to Tiller because of his experience in treating the emotional and physical strain. Tiller also pioneered an outpatient induction technique.

A specialist in another county couldn’t take her for a week. So, she waited. Within a day, the bleeding started. The waiting — punctuated by worried phone calls to her doctor, and area medical centers — continued too.

On my fourth morning, with the bleeding and cramping increasing, I couldn’t wait any more. I called my doctor and was told that since I wasn’t hemorrhaging, I should not come in. Her partner, on call, pedantically explained that women can safely lose a lot of blood, even during a routine period.

I began calling labor and delivery units at the top five medical centers in my area. I told them I had been 19 weeks along. The baby is dead. I’m bleeding, I said. I’m scheduled for a D&E in a few days. If I come in right now, what could you do for me, I asked.

Don’t come in, they told me again and again. “Go to your emergency room if you are hemorrhaging to avoid bleeding to death. No one here can do a D&E today, and unless you’re really in active labor you’re safer to wait.”

The waiting continued. She was turned away from a teaching hospital, after being told to come into their emergency room. She sat shivering on an examination table, wondering “what I had done wrong,” and finally went to a hotel near the hospital (because the 45 minute drive home might be too much) to wait, and bleed, and wait.

Finally, her son was “born.”

The next few days were a blur of lumpy motel beds, telephone calls to doctors, cramps. The pre-examination for my D&E finally arrived. First, the hospital required me to sign a legal form consenting to terminate the pregnancy. Then they explained I could, at no cost, have the remains incinerated by the hospital pathology department as medical waste, or for a fee have them taken to a funeral home for burial or cremation.

They inserted sticks of seaweed into my cervix and told me to go home for the night. A few hours later — when the contractions were regular, strong and frequent — I knew we needed to get to the hospital. “The patient appeared to be in active labor,” say my charts, “and I explained this to the patient and offered her pain medication for vaginal delivery.”

According to the charts, I was “adamant” in demanding a D&E. I remember that I definitely wanted the surgical procedure that was the safest option. One hour later, just as an anesthesiologist was slipping me into unconsciousness, I had the D&E and a little body, my little boy, slipped out.

Around his neck, three times and very tight, was the umbilical cord, source of his life, cause of his death.

This woman, arguably, needed Dr. Tiller or another doctor with his courage to take a stand on conscience. That she had to go through what had to be a frightening extended wait, and could not even get a dead fetus legally removed from womb via D&E (no state, yet, requires a woman to carry a dead fetus inside of her until her body naturally tries to expel it), speaks to the absurd reality of late-term abortion and woman’s health.

No, almost no opponent of legal abortion would look at her situation and declare that the fetus inside of her must be “born,” but some of those same people — the Scott Roeders’ of the movement — and those who aide and/or support them effectively removed any other options except the most painful.

Even an array of painful choices still offers an opportunity for a woman and her family to chose the one that is right for them. One choice, and one choice only, is really no choice at all. Even when the procedure sought is utterly legal, almost no doctor is willing to risk helping many of the women whose stories are featured in this post.

Few of them want to be the next George Tiller, though recently a Nebraska doctor has announced plans to continue George Tiller’s work in Kansas. Provided he is able to do so, and for as long as he is able to do so, George Tiller’s stand on conscience will continue to mean women in desperate situations will find a window open where the opposition has sealed off nearly every exit.

That’s the other absurdity. Recently, in recent years, refusing to help women in situations like those above was elevated to the level of conscience. Refusing to help someone, and turning them away to continue suffering became an act of conscience defended by no less than the president himself, who attempted to enshrine it in law.

Not helping became the moral thing to do.

Opponents of legal abortion filled the airwaves and spilled lots of ink expressing sympathy and support for doctors who objected morally to helping women like those above. They, actually, became the victims of the abortion debate. Not women like those above, some of whom were “adamant” about getting the help they needed.

But what did they offer, and what do they offer, to these women? What option? What relief?

It’s been written that the opponents of legal abortion “lost their moral stand” with Dr. Tiller’s murder.

So far, we know little about the suspect, other than that he was driving a blue Ford when the cops stopped him outside Gardner.

However, the motive for the crime we can all surmise, given the vitriolic rhetoric aimed at Tiller these past couple of decades by anti-abortion activists.

And if we’re right about that, then we know the identities of his accomplices.

They include everyone who has ever called Tiller’s late-term abortion clinic a murder mill.

Whoever called Tiller “Tiller the Killer.”

Groups that fomented hate toward a man who, rightly or wrongly, believed he was serving a noble purpose by being one of the few doctors in the country who performed late-term abortions.

Hate. Not heated opposition. Not strong disagreement.

But blind hatred.

The kind of hate that would prompt some maniac to take a gun into a church and shoot a man to death in front of friends and family.

But perhaps they lost it long ago, failing to offer the women who came to Tiller’s clinic help, but instead a taste of the hatred directed at the man who continued his father’s work to help women in desperate circumstances, despite their belligerence, bombs, bullets, and bullhorns.

It would require another post to take into consideration that many of those so adamantly opposed to these women receiving the help Tiller offered, are the same people who will attempt to ban reality-based (read, not “abstinence-only”) sex education, restrict access to contraception, and oppose funding almost any social program that might help women who chose birth and parenthood. But suffice it to say, they will frame it all as a matter of conscience.

It’s clear who stood on conscience and who — even in death — stands taller than those cheer his death and yet don’t extend a hand to those women they continue to deny help through any means they deem necessary.

In the previous post, I wrote:

What is the saying? “When God closes a door, he opens a window”? How many windows are there?

…The Doctors Tiller — father and son — like Hearn and others, are in the business of keeping a window open, up against people who are dedicated to eliminating windows.

What the politics of the right means is a life without windows for many of us. Just as they drive people like Dr. Hearn away from windows, their politics drives them to board up the windows that might otherwise be available when life closes other doors, for those of us whose lives don’t fit into the narrow opening they leave — the narrow window they leave open, after boarding up all the others.

It’s worth noting that Tiller’s murder took place just a week shy of the 45th anniversary of the death of a woman for whom all windows and doors out of her desperate situation were firmly closed.

Her picture, in death, became symbolic of the plight many women faced when back-alley and “homemade” abortions were the only options. In life, Gerri Santoro grew up on a farm, as the youngest of 14 children, and she was a well-loved daughter and sister, remembered as vivacious and trusting young woman. Her troubles began when, at 18, she met and married a man who turned out to be abusive. They had two daughters together. After 10 years of marriage, during which she endured his physical abuse, Santoro finally left her husband in 1963.

She moved back to the farm where she grew up, and soon started an affair. She became pregnant, and at six months got news about her husband.

When Sam Santoro announced he was coming from California to visit his daughters, Gerri Santoro feared for her life. On June 8, 1964, six-and-a-half months into her pregnancy, she and Dixon checked into a motel in Norwich, Connecticut under aliases. Their intent was to perform a self-induced abortion, using surgical instruments and a textbook, which Dixon had obtained from a co-worker at the Mansfield school. However, when Santoro began to hemorrhage, Dixon fled the motel. She died, at age 28, and her body was found the following morning by a maid.

Dixon was apprehended three days later. He was charged with manslaughter and “conspiracy to commit abortion” and sentenced to a year-and-a-day in prison.[1] Police officers who worked the case called this term “negligible”.

She and Dixon looked for ways to terminate the pregnancy. I don’t know if they searched for doctors to help them, though it seems likely. Santoro’s sister, Leona, scrapped together $700 for Santoro and told her to hide. But it’s not hard to imagine Santoro — like many battered women before her and since — knew she couldn’t hide from her abusive husband forever. Law enforcement may not have been all that effective in protecting battered women from their batterers. She could have believed that eventually he’d find her and find out she had another man’s child. And he might kill her.

Santoro’s story and desperate circumstances are separated from George Tiller’s murder by about 45-years-minus-one-week. And, to be honest, a woman in similar circumstances wouldn’t generate much sympathy from the opponents of legal abortion. It’s her own fault, they’d say. She may have an abusive husband, but that’s her fault for marrying him. And it’s her fault for having an affair and getting pregnant, even if her husband was abusive. To be fair, they’d probably say she should have sufficient protection from law enforcement to prevent her husband from harming her. But she should have to carry the pregnancy to term, whatever the consequences for the rest of her life. Any other windows are firmly closed and sealed shut.

However, Santoro’s circumstances are very different from those of many of the women who sought Dr. Tiller’s help. If all of other windows are closed, including Dr. Tiller’s services or those of another physician willing to keep that window open, then what options do the opponents of legal abortion offer women like those who sought his services?

Some of them, for one thing, are not exactly women — like a nine-year-old girl Tiller helped when others were apparently too afraid.

The 9-year-old girl had been raped by her father. She was 18 weeks pregnant. Carrying the baby to term, going through labor and delivery, would have ripped her small body apart.

There was no doctor in her rural Southern town to provide her with an abortion. No area hospital would even consider taking her case.

Susan Hill, the president of the National Women’s Health Foundation, which operates reproductive health clinics in areas where abortion services are scarce or nonexisistent, called Dr. George Tiller, the Wichita, Kan., ob-gyn who last Sunday was shot to death by an abortion foe in the entry foyer of his church.

She begged.

“I only asked him for a favor when it was a really desperate story, not a semi-desperate story,” she told me this week. Tiller was known to abortion providers – and opponents – as the “doctor of last resort” – the one who took the patients no one else would touch.

“He took her for free,” she said. “He kept her three days. He checked her himself every few hours. She and her sister came back to me and said he couldn’t have been more wonderful. That’s just the way he was.”

I don’t know what childbirth would do to the body of nine-year-old girl, but I can’t imagine it would be anything good. I know that adult women sometimes experience tearing, and end up getting an episiotomy. This young girl would almost certainly have experienced that, were it not for Dr. Tiller. This young girl could even have died during childbirth, while still a child herself. And that’s what the other side sentence her too.

Now they will say, of course, the rape should never have happened. But it did, and she was only getting more pregnant by the day, and closer to an experience that would likely be as painful and damaging as being raped by her father, if not moreso. And if there’s a way to make giving birth to the child of the father who raped her any less traumatic for a nine-year-old But that is what the opposition would sentence her to. However awful what happened to her was, and however painful what will happen to her is likely to be, she — according to them — simply must go through labor and delivery.

How’s that? Why was there no physician in her rural southern town who could or would help her? Why would no area hospital — where people would surely have known the risks this young girl (no doubt already traumatized by being raped by her father) would face during delivery? (Vaginal or c-section, it seems like there are no good choices here.)

Why is abortion not readily available in 87% of counties in the U.S.? Why, between 1992 and 2005, did more than 250 hospitals and 300 private practitioners stop providing abortion? Why do so few medical schools train doctors to do these procedures? Why do 74% of ob-gyn residency programs no train all residents in abortion procedures? (Figures via The Gutmacher Institute.)

Why would a nine-year-old girl, raped and impregnated by her father, have nowhere to turn except to Dr. Tiller, and then 18 weeks into pregnancy? (Where will others like her turn now that there’s one less doctor willing to help? It’s likely that, because of all of the above, her pregnancy went on that long because of the time it took for someone willing to help her?
Why was no one willing to help her?

The answer, or at least part of it was provided by Dr. Tiller himself in a soon-to-be-released documentary What’s the Matter With Kansas? (based on the book of the same name).

We’ve been picketed since 1975,” says Dr. George Tiller. “My office has been blown up. We have had 4,000 people arrested outside my office in 1991. In 1993 I survived an assassination attempt. From August of 1994 until March of 1997 I was under daily U.S. Federal Marshal protection.”

Archival footage from 1991′s “Summer of Mercy,” in which thousands of Operation Rescue activists convened in Wichita to protest Tiller, is a harsh reminder of what the doctor had already lived through. What was supposed to be one week of demonstrations stretched to six, as protesters closed down Women’s Health Services and Pat Robertson flew in to congratulate them.

Each part of the clip is upsetting in its own way, from Gietzen’s boasts about stacking the local government with anti-choice Republicans to pro-choice activist Julie Burkhart’s lament at the scarcity of other late-term options for women whose pregnancies have gone horribly wrong. But it is the slain doctor’s recitation of his enemies’ past offenses that hurts the most. Uttered calmly, without a trace of anger, his words feel painfully prescient.

What hospital or doctor wants to face thousands of protestors, not to mention shootings, bombings, and other violence? What doctor wants to risk his or her life, and take a chance of being added to the list of physicians murdered to help a nine-year-old girl in those circumstances? After all, no protestors will show up if she’s turned away, no headlines will be printed, no television vans will show up, and neither will bombers and gunmen.

Of course, that’s just one case — albeit one that underscores what the logical extremes of opposition to legal abortion means for real people, whose status as “living” is undebatable. Neither the Santoro case or that of the anonymous nine-year-old rape/incest victim are representative of most or even many of the women who seek late-term abortion, or who sought Dr. Tiller’s services.

Many of them were women who, after all, very much wanted to be pregnant, and very much wanted to carry the pregnancies to full-term.

But then it seemed to be missing something.

The perpetual theme in the media seemed to be that Dr. Tiller’s murder represented a surge in violence that abated during the Bush presidency, presumably because the right was satisfied that it was a sign they were winning. Now, with the Democrats in control of the White House and both houses of Congress, they’re apparently ratcheting up the paranoia and violence.

That may be true, to some degree, but abortion-related violence didn’t come to a screeching halt upon the inauguration of George W. Bush. At least that’s what my research suggested, since I decided to check other sources, to see what was missing from the AP Timeline. I kept finding incidents of violence that didn’t appear to be in the timeline.

Then I read that the violence didn’t stop. It’s just that the Bush administration didn’t do anything about anti-abortion violence.

Under the FACE Act, in addition to criminal charges, the Justice Department can obtain damages and an injunction against anyone who “by force or threat of force or by physical obstruction, intentionally injures, intimidates or interferes with or attempts to injure, intimidate or interfere with” anyone who provides or receives reproductive health services. It also allows the government to prosecute and sue anyone who “intentionally damages or destroys the property” of an abortion clinic, because they are frequently vandalized as part of protesters’ intimidation tactics. The clinic where Dr. Tiller worked, for example, was repeatedly vandalized, including just days before his murder.

Yet despite these broad powers that Congress granted the attorney general in 1994 to prevent and combat violence against abortion clinics and providers, the Bush administration almost never used them. From 2000 until 2008, during the eight years of the Bush administration, the Justice Department filed only one civil case under the FACE Act. From 1994 until 1999, in contrast, in just five years of the Clinton administration, the Department filed 17 civil cases under the FACE Act — in addition to its much heavier load of criminal cases that we’ve reported before.

It’s possible, of course, that the law was so effective in its early years that it deterred all future violations. “I do think that the statute was very effective,” and “for the most part there were fewer complaints coming to us,” said Cathleen Mahoney, vice president and general counsel of the National Abortion Federation and director of the Justice Department’s Task Force on Violence Against Reproductive Health Care Providers until 2006.

But crime statistics provided by the National Abortion Federation show that violence did not stop when the Bush administration came into office. The group reports 3,291 acts of violence against abortion providers in the United States and Canada between 2000 and 2008 – and that’s only the number of incidents they know about. (The total number of incidents in the U.S. alone was not available.) The group warns on its Website that “actual incidents are likely much higher.” That number does not include threats, vandalism and harassment, which are also violations of the FACE Act.

You can read the rest of the article for yourself. But it’s no stretch of the imagination that the Bush administration wouldn’t break a sweat prosecuting abortion-related violence.

Here’s the timeline I cobbled together.

I’ll definitely update it as I come across other information in my reading, etc.

I thought about those stories in the days after Dr. Tiller’s murder, and went back to read them again. And then I read more stories of women who found themselves in need of Dr. Tiller’s services, and the circumstances under which he provided it to them. I read stories of women who weren’t patients of Dr. Tiller, but met with desperate circumstances and even disastrous news late into pregnancies they had wanted very much.

I realized, then, that Dr. Tiller’s story was really one about a man of conscience.

In the aftermath of Tiller’s murder, opponents of legal abortion — like Todd von Kampen and Albert Mohler have invoked abolitionist John Brown in writing about Tiller’s murder. I can only guess that they have Roeder in mind (though neither mentions him by name) when they make characterizations like this.

Thus is it always with fanatics — even those driven mad by tragic acts of inhumanity like slavery. And the Holocaust. And abortion. And any of the numerous incidents in human history where one group of humans denies another recognition as persons, created equal, endowed by their Creator with the inalienable rights of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

Part of the problem of the problem, and a root cause of acts like Dr. Tiller’s murder, is that the opponents of of legal abortion have often demonized physicians like Dr. Tiller to the point that they are “denied recognition as persons.”

Mohler goes a bit further.

Proponents of abortion rights often charge that the rhetoric of the pro-life movement leads to violence. After all, we describe abortion as murder and point to the business of abortion as the murder of the unborn. We make clear that abortion is the taking of innocent human life and that what goes on in abortion clinics is the business of death.

We make these arguments because we know they are true. Abortion is murder. What goes on in those clinics is institutionalized homicide, often for financial profit. Abortion is a moral scandal and a national tragedy and a blight upon the American conscience.

But violence in the name of protesting abortion is immoral, unjustified, and horribly harmful to the pro-life cause. Now, the premeditated murder of Dr. George Tiller in the foyer of his church is the headline scandal — not the abortions he performed and the cause he represented.

And herein lies the problem. If abortion is murder, then Tiller is or was a murderer. And if you know — absolutely know — that he murdered yesterday and will in all likelihood murder again tomorrow, isn’t some of that blood on your hands if you fail to stop him?

If Dr. Tiller’s murder has become the issue, instead of the service he provided to women (and for which he as murdered), the opponents of legal abortion have only themselves to blame for making or allowing others in their movement to go on making service providers like Dr. Tiller the focus. Maybe that makes it easier to ignore the rest of the story — of both Dr. Tiller and the women who found themselves in need of his services — and over simplify both his reason for providing the service and women’s reasons for seeking it.

The real story — as the Kanas City Star notes in the title of its long article on Dr. Tiller — is more complex. For example, opponents of legalized abortion criticized Tiller for “making money from abortions” because he charged for the procedures. The article reveals that part of the reason he opened his own clinic was because he realized that he could charge less ($250) than a hospital would charge ($1000).

Not only that, but Tiller initially set out go into dermatology — a far more lucrative field of medicine than family practice, which is where he ultimately settled. But the reason why he ended up in family practice is where George Tiller’s story as a man of conscience begins, when he lost his father, mother, sister, and brother-in-low in a plane crash, and returned to Kansas to take care of his ailing grandmother and 1-year-old nephew

But after he began seeing some of his father’s patients, he decided he was needed because there weren’t enough doctors in the area to absorb them all. So he made plans to instead phase out his father’s practice over three years.

It was then that he learned his father had performed illegal abortions, a decision prompted by guilt over the death of a woman he had refused to help.

“Dad had suggested that he had done some terminations of pregnancy back in the ’50s and ’60s,” he said. “Then when I got the practice … I began asking these women if my dad had done an abortion for them. And I find that he did more than one or two or a few.”

That woman’s death, as a consequence of his refusal to help combined with a lack of safe and legal options, stayed on his father’s conscience. It drove the father to apparently do what he could to make sure that other women in desperate situations wouldn’t meet the same fate. Presumably, a procedure done by a trained physician, in a sterile room with sterilized instruments, was safer than a back-alley or “homemade” abortions.

The article goes on to say that Tiller kept his father’s practice open, and after the Supreme Court decision, performed his first legal abortion in 1973. No doubt, in the years after he took over his father’s practice, he heard from female patients the circumstances they were facing when they came to his father for help, and stories of how these women were treated in hospitals (wheeled past the newborn nursery on their way to surgery). And in the ensuing years and controversy after Roe v. Wade, “[w]hile abortion opponents focused on the lives lost, Tiller’s concern became the lives of the women.”

And so, Tiller inherited not only his father’s practice but his father’s stand on conscience — offering help to women in desperate circumstances, who have little to no other options.

What is the saying? “When God closes a door, he opens a window”? How many windows are there?

A Los Angeles Times portrays the life of one doctor among the few — even fewer with Tiller’s death — as a life without windows.

This is one of the facts of Hern’s life — no windows, ever. That was how Dr. Barnett Slepian’s killer shot him in upstate New York, through a kitchen window. Slepian, like Hern, performed abortions.

“I can’t sit in front of an open window. The shades have to be drawn,” Hern said.

After Slepian’s shooting in 1998, Hern predicted another would follow. “Will I get to live out my life?” he asked in a newspaper column in 2001. “. . . Who’s next?”

The Doctors Tiller — father and son — like Hearn and others, are in the business of keeping a window open, up against people who are dedicated to eliminating windows.

What the politics of the right means is a life without windows for many of us. Just as they drive people like Dr. Hearn away from windows, their politics drives them to board up the windows that might otherwise be available when life closes other doors, for those of us whose lives don’t fit into the narrow opening they leave — the narrow window they leave open, after boarding up all the others.