The Republic of T.

I mentioned earlier that I’ve been doing a bit of writing about the GOP candidates for the day job. Those posts are limited to policy issues, usually economic policy. But, like I said in the posts about Newt, there’s a lot more I’d like to get into with these guys that wouldn’t be appropriate elsewhere.

Which brings me back to Rick Santorum. It’s been a while since I posted another edition in this rather long series. I have so little time for non-work-related writing these days, that I seldom write about LGBT issues. (As a result, the hate crimes project is so embarrassingly out of date, that I’ve let the hosting account lapse, and probably won’t bring it back online because at this point I’ll never get it up to date.) Sometimes I question whether I can even be called a “gay blogger,” except as a blogger who happens to be gay, but rarely ever writes about gay issues (anymore).

Alas, between commuting to work, putting in eight hours, commuting back home, having family dinner, spending time with the kids between dinner and bedtime, helping Parker with his homework, putting the kids to bed, sharing the work of keeping the house relatively clean, and then finishing up the hour’s worth of work I bring home, there are just not enough hours in the day. And I’m usually to physically and mentally exhausted to do much of anything with what’s left of the 24 hours in question.

But that’s another post for another day.

It was my work-related blogging that alerted me to a remark Santorum made, comparing gay parents to felons, which inspired me to return to this series.

(more…)

First there was the kid in Virgina, missing and then found after being abducted following a double murder, when the SUV he was sleeping in was stolen.

Now this.

(more…)

Given what I’ve been writing for the past few years upward mobility and the state of "the American Dream," it doesn’t come as a surprise to me that downward mobility is the trend that seems likely to dominate the next decade — especially if Washington continues its current trend.

Nearly one in three Americans who grew up middle-class has slipped down the income ladder as an adult, according to a new report by the Pew Charitable Trusts.

Downward mobility is most common among middle-class people who are divorced or separated from their spouses, did not attend college, scored poorly on standardized tests, or used hard drugs, the report says.

A middle-class upbringing does not guarantee the same status over the course of a lifetime, the report says.

The study focused on people who were middle-class teenagers in 1979 and who were between 39 and 44 years old in 2004 and 2006. It defines people as middle-class if they fall between the 30th and 70th percentiles in income distribution, which for a family of four is between $32,900 and $64,000 a year in 2010 dollars.

It doesn’t surprise me, but as a parent it troubles me deeply. This is something I wish policymakers could somehow understand. Like a lot Americans, I worry a lot more about unemployment than the deficit. It’s not the impact of the federal deficit on their future that worries me. It’s the impact of an unemployment crisis with no end in sight.

It’s this that makes me look at my children and then lie awake at night worrying that one day they will wonder why we lied to them.

(more…)

Both Casey Anthony’s defense team and her parents issued statements after her acquittal. Her parents, in their statement, said something that the defense couldn’t say, but might have alluded to: We may never know what happened to Caylee.

Three years later, and we don’t know what happened to this child. Let’s remember there are countless missing children whose names we don’t even know. We don’t know what happened to them either, and may never know. There’s 48 cold cases of missing kids in Maryland alone.

(more…)

“If there was any justice in this world…” People usually say that when they believe they’ve witnessed a miscarriage of justice in either the legal or cosmic sense. Someone walks away scott free, though common sense and everything but concrete evidence says they’re guilty. Someone with little to recommend them in the way of talent, intelligence or ambition falls ass-first into good fortune, while others more talented and deserving toil in obscurity. Someone gets way more than their 15 minutes in the spotlight, while others get no time at all.

We’ve probably all said it, after witnessing things like those described above. “If there was any justice in this world,” somebody would be getting what we think they deserve. Of course, we don’t stop to think that “If there was any justice…” is just the flip side of saying, “There but for the grace of God go I.”

And so, we’ve finally come to the end of the Casey Anthony trial…

On the one hand, this doesn’t feel like justice.

(more…)

I haven’t written much about it but, crime buff that I am, I’ve been following the Casey Anthony trial pretty closely. The armchair psychologist in me was pulled in by the strangeness of both the accused and he family. Now, it seems there’s going to be a verdict in half an hour.

The 30 minute advance notice has been given for the verdict of the Casey Anthony trial. The verdict will be read at 2:15 p.m.

Court administration spokeswoman Karen Levey today gave reporters covering the Casey Anthony case a rundown of what will likely happen once a verdict is reached in the murder trial.

Chief Judge Belvin Perry will warn those in the courtroom not to express approval or disapproval with the verdict.

Then jurors will return to the courtroom and the foreperson will hand verdict forms to a court deputy. The judge will review the forms and then hand them to a court clerk, Karen Delpilar, to read aloud.

Perry will then have jury members polled individually to confirm that their verdict is true and correct.

If Casey Anthony is convicted of first-degree murder as charged, there will be a 48-hour break before the penalty phase of the trial begins.

If I had to hazard a guess…. (more…)

Quelle suprise. Bristol Palin took the “fall down drunk, get up pregnant” route to parenthood.

Bristol Palin writes in her new book of losing her virginity to boyfriend Levi Johnston on a camping trip after getting drunk for the first time on too many wine coolers.

She awoke in her tent, alone, with no memories of what had happened as Johnston “talked with his friends on the other side of the canvas.” She had vowed to wait until marriage. And she had lied to her parents about where she was going.

Palin, a 20-year-old single mother and the daughter of former Alaska Republican Gov. Sarah Palin, tells a story of “deception and disappointment” in the book, “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far.”

The memoir, co-written with Nancy French, is scheduled for publication by William Morrow this week. The Associated Press purchased a copy Friday.

I just have a couple of things to say.

(more…)

I know by now it’s been by everybody and his brother, but I’m posting it here for all the parents in the world who have ever thought what the title of this book says.

Go ahead, play it again. You know you were laughing too hard to hear the whole thing.

(more…)

I grew up a skinny, effeminate, non-athletic, black gay boy in the south … during the Reagan era.

That’s what I sometimes tell people when they ask my about what growing up was like for me. Those who get it, and most do, give me a wide-eyed look, and ask “How did you survive?”

I ask myself that sometimes, because I know a lot boys like me didn’t. Boys like Kirk Murphy.

(more…)

I’ve been so busy with work and family that I’ve fallen behind on my email. I didn’t know I was in the running, but apparently this blog has been voted one of Circle of Moms Top 25 LGBT Parent Blogs.

What are the best blogs written by or for LGBT parents? Is there a writer out there in the blogosphere who truly tells it like it is for LGBT families and makes you feel like someone out there gets it? Is there someone who is providing much appreciated connection and support through their blog? We want to hear about them!

Voting closed on May 13th. I didn’t check my email soon enough put up a post asking for votes, so I’m even more surprised. Back in March, I was included in their top 25 Daddy Blogs. That was another pleasant surprise.

Well, it’s always nice to be included. Thanks, Circle of Moms!

PZ Meyers makes an excellent point about this horrific story.

A young girl was found caged and attempting to eat herself in a mobile home in Virginia, and cops say her parents are responsible.

The malnourished girl, believed to be either 5 or 6, was discovered in a crib that was converted into a makeshift cage after police arrived at the home in Gloucester County to investigate a burglary last week.

The girl’s parents, Brian and Shannon Gore, were arrested and charged with felony child abuse. The mother was also charged with attempted capital murder.

However, the gruesome twosome now faces first-degree murder charges after the remains of what authorities believe to be another child were found buried outside their mobile home

Towards the end of the story we hear from the husband’s ex-girlfriend.

(more…)

I don’t remember the last time I was nominated for a blogging award (check the sidebar), or included in a list of "top" bloggers in any category. So I was a bit surprised to learn that this blog has been nominated for Circle of Moms’ Top 25 Daddy Blogs.

We all know about the mommy blogger phenomenon, but what about daddy bloggers? Told from daddy’s perspective, these dads share what it’s like to be awoken by their loud screaming kids at 6am, finding the right barrette for their daughters’ hair and chasing after toddlers in the snow. Help us find the Top 25 Daddy Blogs by April 5, 2011 by voting for your favorite blog. Questions? Contact catherine@circleofmoms.com.

Go check it out!And, if you do, I’d appreciate your vote.

I watched the Oscars last night, for what has to be at least the 30th time, because I’ve watched them every year since I was old enough to see movies and care about them. That would have been 1981. If I go back far enough, I can probably just remember the 12 year old, or nearly-12-year-old boy sitting in a darkened family room in Augusta, GA, watching as much as I could before it was time for me to go to bed.

Honestly, I don’t remember much about that 1981 Oscars broadcast. I don’t remember the speeches. I didn’t remember who Oscars won in 1981, until I looked it up. But I remember that 12-year-old boy, and more than that — much more, really — I remember his dreams.

(more…)

I can’t remember why I suggested to Parker that he and I read the the Harry Potter books together. I’m sure it was in part because I wanted to continue to encourage in him a love of reading. That’s why Parker and I read together every night that it’s my turn with him at bedtime.

Being an avid reader myself, it’s something I want for both my sons — not just to be well-read, but to develop a love of reading for reading’s sake. In my life, I’ve found it makes learning a lot easier, but makes the world a bigger and more fascinating place, by extending learning throughout life.

Hell, the years I’ve spent since college could be considered a very long independent study program, based on what I’ve read. (Add what I’ve written about what I’ve read, and I’m convinced I could almost qualify for some kind of advanced degree.)

But that’s not the reason I recommended the Harry Potter books.

(more…)

When it comes to the holiday season, I’m neither a Scrooge nor a fanatic. I enjoy the season for a multitude of reasons. And no, I don’t agree with most people about the “reason for the season,” and that’s O.K. History doesn’t agree with them either, but that’s O.K. too. Human beings have have celebrations and ceremonies around this time of year practically since the beginnings of civilization. It’s meanings are old enough and broad enough for all of us to lay some claim to it.

Besides, “Peace on Earth” and “Goodwill toward men” sound like  good ideas to me, after having my head in national these last couple of years. It’s enough to make anyone say “Bah! Humbug!” But recently I heard a familiar holiday song on the radio, and it kinda brought me back to myself.

(more…)

It occurred to me last night that parenting turns the mundane into milestones, causing strange emotional reactions. I had one of those while we were folding the laundry during “Desperate Housewives” (as we do every other Sunday night.) I had folded a tiny pair of Dylan’s underwear, and was putting them on his underwear pile when the hubby noted, “Awwww. Dylan has an underwear pile now.”

We’ve been in the throes of “potty training”/”potty learning” for the past week now, and Dylan has transitioned from diapers to underwear most of the time. Needless to say, it’s been a week of outfit changes, and a bit more laundry on Dylan’s part, but he’s getting it. For the last few days, he’s kept his diaper dry when he had one one, and kept himself dry when he had his underwear. Last night, the big deal was that he did No. 2 in the potty, something he’d only done at school to date, which earned him a Thomas the Train sticker.

I found myself getting misty-eyed that Dylan has an underwear pile. It’s just another sign that he’s growing up, and isn’t really a baby any more, even though I still think of him as one sometimes. (And in many ways he’ll always be our baby, to me.)

Of course we realized that it means the day we change our last diaper is on the horizon, and the diaper genie will be a thing of the past. But I still had a slight lump in my throat over the new underwear pile in our lives. It signifies the beginning of something, yes. But it signifies the end of something too. Something precious I’m sure I’ll miss just a little bit.

But I won’t miss diapers. Period.

I’ve written once or twice about my interest in crime stories and earlier research into serial killers for a writing project. I’ve seen the first season of Dexter, but have yet to catch up with the rest on Netflix. And, I’ll admit that I was intrigued and found Dexter more than a little sexy. (Michael C. Hall’s good looks and portrayal of the character go a long way towards towards turning a murderous psychopath into a sympathetic character. It doesn’t hurt that Dexter’s deadly impulses are directed at other killers.)

That said, I actually agree with this guy. A Dexter "action figure" is just a bit much for my tastes.

(more…)

We’re on a bit of a family vacation this week. So posting may be sparse, though I do have one in the works.

I won’t be blogging much today. Actually, probably not at all. I’m busy with work this afternoon, and I’ll be busy with the boys this evening.

Speaking of the boys, I realize I have posted any pictures for a while.

(more…)

Every time I write one of these posts, I think — or, rather, I hope — it will be the last one. Maybe that’s because I harbor two apparently unrealistic hopes: (1) that no more children will be hurt, abused, or killed by the people who are supposed to care for them, and (2) that people will stop putting our parenting in the same category as people who do hurt, abuse, and kill their own children.

Like I said, these are unrealistic hopes. Maybe someday the reality of child abuse will be like a nightmare that fades from memory and into the distant past. But not today. And maybe someday, people will stop calling all that we do as parents — from making dinner to helping with homework, etc. — as abuse, because it’s part of being a parent, and because We’re doing it. Maybe someday. But not today

Certainly not with Pride season upon us, when the AFA finds out there’s a kid kicking off a pride parade.

(more…)