The Republic of T.

It’s interesting how a story takes on a life of it’s own. It’s been a couple of years since I started blogging about Zach, the kid in Tennessee who came out to his parents only to get sent to a “reparative therapy camp.” The story went from a handful of bloggers covering it to The New York Times covering it.

Investigations were launched. The camp was shut down for a while. Then there was as lawwsuit. Then a settlement. Then the camp closed. Sort of. I stopped following the story closely once Zach left the camp and returned home. But now and again I read about developments like the lates one, which I learned of via Box Turtle Bulletin.

John Smid, the guy who was running the place when Zach was there, has resigned.

(more…)

I know I said I would not comment on the Eliot Spitzer affair. And I’m not, per se. But it does appear to have made prostitution — and whether or not it should be legalized — the subject of public debate again.

I wrote about the subject last year, focusing on three different cases that raised questions on both sides of of the debate, and I tended to come down on the side of legalization, but lately I’ve heard some arguments that make a convincing case, if not in favor of legalization, then not in favor of full decriminalization.

(more…)

I don’t know if this counts as a trend or not, but I didn’t expect to see something like this so soon after the previous post. This time is the Lutheran Church, which still opposes marriage equality but expresses regret that "church teachings have been used to hurt gays and lesbians."

A task force drafting a statement on sexuality for the nation’s largest Lutheran group said Thursday that the church should continue defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

However, the panel did not condemn same-gender relationships. The committee expressed regret that historic Lutheran teachings have been used to hurt gays and lesbians, and acknowledged that some congregations already accept same-sex couples.

From there, it actually gets more interesting.

(more…)

First of all, this post is not what you think it’s about. (Though I could write style-crampin’ aspects of having an infant who doesn’t sleep through the night yet. Suffice it to say that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.) No, it’s about the French.

Or rather, it’s about what they French have done now. It’s something that would never be done here. At least not without a whole lot of whooping and hollering. Forget Maplethorpe for a minute. Can you imagine the public reaction if an American museum featured a new exhibit that’s basically a children’s guide to sex?
(more…)

Just before the Holiday, Mike Huckabee’s thoughts on homosexuality inspired me to explicate what some of us call the procreative imperative, which seems to be inherent in some brands of conservative political Christianity.

The most astounding assumption is that everyone should have children. This despite the abundant evidence that there an untold numbers of people who’ve already had children probably shouldn’t be parents, if the results of their parenting thus far is any indication. There are undoubtedly more who realize they may not be parent material and thus avoid becoming parents. Would the author have them become parents too, and subject children yet unborn to living with parents who may not want the, or who may even be neglectful or abusive?

That’s the unspoken but fundamental point in his argument, as well as many on the same side. The assumption is that people who marry and have children should do so within the context of the faith that he practices. Because, if they do so and do it right, there won’t be any abuse or neglect. Just like if all women surrendered to their husbands, there wouldn’t be any domestic abuse so long as they’ve married “godly men.”

It’s an ideal that has nothing to do with reality, because there will never be a time when everyone practices the author’s idealized brand of Christianity. But it seems so obvious to him how wonderful it would be if everyone would, that he can remain oblivious to the unhappiness that is bound to result from attempting to force everyone into a one-size-fits-all family unit.

After all happiness, the human variety at least, isn’t the point.

One after the other conservatives from Huckabee right down to the Maryland Court of Appeals will apply the procreative imperative as a supremely logical (in their eyes) reason to deny marriage equality to same-sex couples: if gays are accepted and not discriminated against, and same-sex couples allowed to marry and be treated like any other family, human beings will stop having babies altogether, and civilization will crumble.

Problem is, it’s just not so.

(more…)

Rachel and Jill were appalled by this. I found myself somewhat bemused, and experiencing vague feeling of deja vu.

Hard figures are difficult to come by, but local people on the coast estimate that as many as one in five single women visiting from rich countries are in search of sex.

Allie and Bethan — who both declined to give their full names — said they planned to spend a whole month touring Kenya’s palm-fringed beaches. They would do well to avoid the country’s tourism officials.

“It’s not evil,” said Jake Grieves-Cook, chairman of the Kenya Tourist Board, when asked about the practice of older rich women traveling for sex with young Kenyan men.

You see, I had a feeling I’d heard this story before; about the lengths some (white) folks will go to and the distances some (white) folks will travel to satisfy a racial fetish, and the (non-white) folks who are more than happy to help them scratch that itch for a price. I not only heard the story a while back, I blogged about it. But then it was merely the domestic version of the above: the phenomenon of the Mangindo Party.

africa, culture, current events, gay rights, gender, masculinity, race, sexuality

(more…)

Too bad we don’t live in New Zealand. Because we’d get commercials like this, which crams in more sexual innuendoes than I knew existed (no, really, I had to look some of them up) but does it that’s TV-safe.

How many did you spot? I got these:

Technorati Tags: humor, sex, television, video

(more…)

I really shouldn’t pick on Sen. Larry Craig. But there’s so much to address in this case, especially in the light of the recent news of another Republican — in this case, Florida state Representative Bob Allen — getting busted for soliciting sex in a public bathroom.

To be frank, these guys did pretty lousy at coming up with explanations or alibis for the actions leading to their arrests. I mean, Craig blames his arrest on his problems with haveing a “wide stance” when going to the bathroom. Now, I don’t know whether Craig is just a tall guy who requires more legroom than most bathroom stalls allow, but you’d have have ‘em spread pretty damn wide if your foot is brushing up against the foot of the guy in the next stall, while your sitting on the potty. And I won’t even begin to analyze Allen’s excuse that he was intimidated by a black police officer or scared of lightening.

There’s another reason why upstanding conservative guys like these two might be spending time in public bathrooms. I call it “Saving Souls at Glory Holes.”

Technorati Tags: courts, crime, current events, gay, politics, religion, sex

(more…)

So, Senator Larry Craig — Mitt Romney & DOMA supporter — regrets pleading guilty to lewd conduct in an airport men’s room. That reminds me of Rhett Butler’s line to Scarlett O’Hara from Gone With the Wind, “You’re like the thief who isn’t the least bit sorry he stole, but is terribly, terribly sorry he’s going to jail.” (Gimme a break. I’m gay and a southerner. That gives me the right to make as many GWTW references as I want.)

But it seems like the charges in this case would have been pretty easy fight. So why, if Craig pleaded guilty, does he now regret doing so. Why didn’t he fight the charges then?

Technorati Tags: courts, crime, current events, politics, sex

(more…)

I’m overdue in posting a round-up, because so much has been going on in my offline life lately. Case in point, I’m on the road with the family today, and away from the blog and the blogosphere. So here’s some great stuff to check out in the meantime.

I haven’t had a chance to cover Obama’s remarks that the right has “hijacked” faith, but David Sirota makes a point that Obama has an opportunity to walk his talk by not appearing at a right wing think tank event.

…As I had discovered during my years in politics, one of the most aggressive extremist groups that operates at the state level is called the American Legislative Exchange Council – or ALEC for short. It’s a seemingly innocuous name, but as Progressive States detailed in one of its first reports – and as other terrific progressive organizations have detailed at length – ALEC is not an innocuous organization – it is arguably the most important legislative appendage of Big Money and right-wing interests in American politics. That’s why U.S. Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) must reject ALEC’s invitation for him to speak at its upcoming national conference.

… Obama is a former state legislator, meaning that he understands the power and destructive agenda of ALEC. If he has not accepted ALEC’s invitation, and ALEC is nonetheless using his notoriety to build an audience for its conference, Obama has a huge opportunity – a PR gift given to him by the Right. He could demand his photo be removed from ALEC’s website and marketing materials, and issue a strong statement talking about how nefarious right-wing extremist groups like ALEC really are, both tactically and public policy-wise. He would create a significant moment for public education about the real forces that drive – and distort – our politics.

Technorati Tags: blogs, civil rights, current events, gay marriage, gay rights, homophobia, politics, race, religion

(more…)

I’ll admit it. It was the combination of Mitt Romney and porn that got my attention and caused me to stop and read Chris Kelly’s HuffPo takedown of Romney’s appearance at the National Right to Life convention. (His politics make skin crawl, but even I have to admit that he’s pretty easy on the eyes.) What came to mind, as I Read Romney’s rather odd rant about a children’s book was something I’d been meaning to write about for a while, but never quite got around to it.

“And parents of a child in second grade were told that their son is required to listen to the reading of a book called The King and the King (sic) about a prince who marries another prince. The school’s rationale was since same sex marriage was legal, the education system should advance the idea… I immediately drafted and introduced legislation to grant religious liberty protection, but the legislature wouldn’t even take it up.”

This is, of course, not the first time a children’s book (the mere presence of one, let alone an actually reading) has given some religious conservative parents fits. Heather Has Two Mommies, Daddy’s Roommate, and And Tango Makes Three have also had that honor. And while I understand the concerns parents may have about what they’re kids are exposed to at school, there’s an underlying reality they’re missing as they get overwrought about fiction & fairy tales.

Technorati Tags: books, current events, family, gay, gay marriage, gay rights, politics, religion

(more…)

Angelina Jolie visited a sex shop in Prague, where she's shooting a movie? My two initial reactions are, "So what?" and "You go, girl!" She's got three kids and still have time to have sex? Not to mention sex creative enough that it requires accouterments like a riding crop? Yeah, I know she's probably got one nanny per kid, but still. If she and Brad can find time to get their jollies, between two movie careers and three kids, I say more power to 'em. My only question is: who's using the riding crop on whom? I don't know, but I'll probably go to sleep tonight with visions of Brad Pitt wielding a riding crop….

Guys, it looks like we’re back to “Beta,” to borrow a term from the “Web 2.0″ world. Or maybe it’s that Beta’s are back in. I’m not sure which. It was over a year-and-half ago that I bemoaned the reign of the alpha males.

And be certain there are rough edges when it comes to alpha males. Sometimes its those edges that attract and repel us simultaneously. I’ll be the first to admit that as much as I feared and envied some of the more aggressive, influential boys I went to school with, I still swooned over them in the locker room. (Until they drove me out of it, that is.)

Those rough edges are still attractive qualities to some Americans, and don’t think that Karl Rove doesn’t know that. Why else does Bush take every opportunity to get down to his ranch and clear brush, except to invoke the image of the cowboy and all it implies; the strength that lies behind stoic silence, the “resoluteness” to stand one’s ground, etc. And after 9/11 America wanted an alpha male in the White House. The problem is that those rough edges that seemingly soothe us also have a downside…

The problem is that after 9/11 America wanted a John Wayne, but now — in the clear light of day, with the dust from the towers settled — we discover we ended up with a Gomer Pyle instead. One who doesn’t have the wherewithal to see us out of the mess he swaggered us into. He can clear brush, but he can’t get us out of the weeds he led us into.

This weekend I opened up Newsweek, read their article “In Hollywood, Beta Males Best Alpha Dogs,” and began to think maybe I was out in front of a cultural trend back in October 2005.

Technorati Tags: culture, current events, feminism, gender, masculinity, movies, politics, war on terror

(more…)

And I don’t mean the nuts behind the wheel. This is the kind of thing you file under “You’ve gotta be frickin’ kidding me.”

As a guy myself, and the parent of a four-year-old boy, I’m aware that the relationship between a man and a particular part of his body start young, is passionate, sometimes obsessive, and (usually) life-long. Entire books have been written about it. I’d recommend A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis for serious reading on the subject, Talking Cock for a more humorous take, and Hung: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men in America for a different take. (And, yes, I’ve read them all.)

For a little boy, it’s like getting a new toy that you can take with you everywhere you go. But almost immediately after that initial discovery, people start telling you that (a) you can’t play with it everywhere and (b) everyone doesn’t need to see it. (At last, a toy that it’s OK not to share.) It’s not something that grown men should have to be told. It’s one thing for a little boy to run around saying to everyone “Look what I got!” It’s another altogether for a grown man to constantly remind everyone of what he’s got. In fact, it’s enough to make anyone wonder if a guy like that’s got something to prove. Or is trying to compensate for what he hasn’t got, or what he really thinks he hasn’t got enough of.

Needless to say, Freud would have a field day with guys like that. And after checking out the pictures below and reading about the phenomenon that spawned them, he’d probably want to get these guys on the couch for some analysis. After he lit a cigar, of course. (The pics, BTW, may not be quite SFW, so I put them below the fold.)

Technorati Tags: culture, current events, gender, masculinity, puppy, sex, sexuality, suv, trucks

(more…)

Last month I wrote a post on what I called the procreative imperative.

But almost immediately, the discussion turns to the various issues related to reproduction (abortion, illegitimacy, etc.). That was interesting to me because one of the main responses to the Washington state initiative has been that the only the proponents of same-sex marriage are arguing that procreation is the purpose of marriage.

Yet the very same concept is just beneath the surface of most concerns expressed by opponents to marriage equality, which in this case get down to questions about the very purpose of sexuality. No surprise, since it’s something that’s inherent in their response to a host of other issues. In fact, it goes back centuries, all the way back to the earliest changes in marriage, and Christianity’s response to them.

But to be honest, I always felt that I never really finished that post. There was a comment I intended to respond to, and some things that hadn’t quite fallen into place yet; things that hadn’t yet gelled in my brain until a day or so ago, when I read Chris Hedges’ Alternet piece about “the Christian right’s fear of pleasure.”

Technorati Tags: choice, culture, current events, feminism, gay marriage, gender, politics, contraception, religion, sex

(more…)

No, I’m not considering a new line of work or anything like that.

The Deborah Jean Palfrey story got me thinking about the whole subject of prostitution, along with some news stories I bookmarked and intended to blog about later but never got around to it. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been of the mind that prostitution should be legal. But I also understand that there’s another side to the coin currently represented by Palfry, as Hugo — whose post I linked to earlier — pointed out.

Technorati Tags: current events, prostiuttion, sex, sexuality

(more…)

There a couple of article about D.C.’s latest sex scandal that have been sitting in my RSS reader since yesterday. I intended to blog about the story then, but news of Jamaica’s latest incidence of homophobic violence took priority. I’ve been following the story of Deborah Jean Palfrey since she first threatened to start wielding her “little black book” as a weapon, if it meant that she wasn’t “going down” by herself for allegedly running a business that couldn’t have existed without clients.

Why should she? And it’s not like she didn’t give her alleged clients a chance step forward in her defense. They didn’t have the cajones. And they didn’t think she did. Either that, or the didn’t get the very clear message.

Technorati Tags: africa, anti-bush, bush, current events, hiv, politics, puppy, sex

(more…)

I’d intended to write this back when there’s was a lot of discussion about the Washington state initiative to require heterosexuals to prove they can reproduce, or face having their marriages annulled. I hadn’t intended to post about it again, As I read some recent . One of them was Jim Wallis’ post at God’s Politics, about “Covenantal vs. Recreational Sexuality.”

At first, I couldn’t think of why his post reminded me of the Washignton state initiative.

The divinely intended purposes of sexual intimacy are of course very sacred and deeply satisfying in the context of committed relationships. And the degradation and commodification of sexuality in the media, for purposes of advertising, and in exploitative or manipulative relationships is indeed sin, because it can be so abusive and destructive to the human spirit.

The real question is whether sexuality should be regarded as basically covenantal or just recreational.

Sexuality is meant to be enormously enjoyable and fulfilling, but the context of the relationship and the commitment or lack of commitment it contains is of obvious religious importance. And that religious importance is because of how fragmenting or integrating sexual intimacy can be for human beings – dependent on the context of the relationship.

What struck me was that Wallis wrote in term of “committed relationships” and not marriage specifically, but then I remembered that even though Wallis doesn’t support same-sex marriage he supports civil unions for same-sex couples, and has written that he thinks it would be good to encourage committed, monogamous relationships among gays and lesbians.

(more…)

I’ve been out all day, running a blog training session (turns out I have some decent teaching skills and also enjoy it a lot, so I’m morphing in to a trainer), and didn’t think I ‘d actually get to blog today. But then this came into my mailbox via the LGBTPOC listserv and it’s … well … interesting to say the least. It’s not all that surprising, because this stuff has been going on for a long, long time.

Still, apparently it’s newsworthy when white guys want big black guys to have sex with their wives, and get so turned on by it that they host a network of “Mandingo” sex parties.

(more…)

What do people have against girls? No, really. It kind of mystifies me when here about some of the things that get people riled up where girls are concerned. I mean, there was the whole HPV vaccination — the one that could save many young women from cervical cancer (and save a few young men from anal cancer too) — and the people who thought it was a bad thing, because these young women might have sex and not get HPV or end up with cervical cancer. And we all know that those are far better outcomes than allowing young women to “sin without consequences.”

Wouldn’t it be awful if young women were sexually active and didn’t end up with HPV and cervical cancer? Sure, but it would be even more awful if young women learned how to figure out with they could have sex without a huge risk of pregnancy. And there’s only one way to make sure they don’t figure it out. Make sure they know as little about their bodies as possible, and whatever you do, don’t let them read any books on how their bodies work.

(more…)